.~accounts~of~madness~.

bipolar strikes again

2011-09-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

so back in april i was feeling really good (maybe a bit TOO good) and made these ambitious plans to participate in the nanny goat 24-hour race as a walker. then much like what happened for the 9 trails 35 mile in november 2007, the high desert 50k in december 2007 and the avalon 50 mile in january 2008, depression hit and i lost my mojo... to get out of bed, let alone run an ultra.

there is always the possibility when i make plans to meet with a friend, take a solo trip, run a race, attend a conference or workshop, that when the date of the event approaches i will be depressed and unable to follow through with my plans. especially if said event has been planned in a period i am hypo-manic. it's hard to predict how i'm going to be feeling a week from today, and months ahead even harder.

i'm beginning to feel the "tingle" to make plans again, and i'm feeling pretty stable at the moment, so i may pick a half-marathon or marathon to start dipping my toes in the world of racing again. i can sure count on my husband to keep me grounded to reality when i share any plans with him now.

something to look forward to: nanny goat 24 hours

2011-04-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

i must be crazy... i haven't been running much and today i decided to sign up for the nanny goat 24 hour race. but i can explain: i am planning on walking it. plus, there is no pressure to "finish", no cut-offs, just relaxed running (in my case walking) around a 1-mile loop with aid always readily available. my goal is to have a good time, and to catch the running bug from being around all the amazing runners.

i had a great time at the san francisco 1-day back in 2008 and i'm looking forward to my second 24 hour race with the nanny goat in may!

reflections on womanhood

2010-11-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

as a child i used to envision myself as a full-bosomed, self-confident adult woman wearing fashionable make-up and a flawless hairdo. today i barely fill an A cup, my best comb has "american airlines" written on it, and my only make-up article is a cover stick (to hide the effects of chronic insomnia).

i'm still around...

2010-11-03T02:13:00.000-07:00

hard to believe that moi, once running coach and ultrarunner extraordinaire, would be doing cartwheels at the thought of hitting 400 miles for the YEAR. the typical excuse, "life got in the way", but the truth is: running has not been a priority for the past year and a half. and that is so because i made it so. plain and simple. i miss the feeling of running long distance, and i will make 2011 the year i get back into it. so many races i've yet to run, some races that demand a do-over (mainly the orange curtain 100k and the san francisco 1-day) and a few pounds to be lost that found their way onto my hips.

right now i'm on a simple schedule of short runs with my friend pam, who is training for her first 10k. just like my coaching days, except it feels like i'm the student.

i'm still living by the beach. still crazy, bipolar, addicted to diet coke. neighbors are still drunk and noisy, my niece and my nephew are still the awesomest in the world.

now to hit the trails and pavement (i still do both) and burn some EVA and polyurethane.

patrick mcglade to run a marathon a day for 4 months

2009-12-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

a couple of weeks ago i received an email from victoria muschek, letting me know that her nephew, patrick mcglade, will be running a marathon a day for 4 months to raise awareness and funds (his goal is $50,000) for the arthritis foundation. his journey will be over 2,500 miles long, and he will run through 8 states and more than 50 towns.

visit the official website at http://way.to/Patricksrun4arthritis to learn more about patrick's goals and reasons for doing this, as well as to donate to the cause.

patrick picked surf city to be his starting line. his "race" will begin on january 2nd at 9am from the bella terra mall in huntington beach, ca.

moving comfort - alexis printed bra

2009-10-07T02:52:00.001-07:00

i never paid much attention to what kind of bra i would buy for running. i'd pretty much just go to target and grab whatever "generic", cheap, "sports bras" they had in size small and not give it much thought. my main peeve about these bras, though, is how the shirt (even the coolmax ones) will "stick" to the bra instead of just flowing freely.

so when i was offered my unique choice of a moving comfort sports bra to try out i was both curious and skeptical. maybe i would finally find out what is so special about bras made specifically for running, as opposed to those flat, stretchy pieces of cotton i was used to wearing. or would i?

i picked the alexis printed bra for two reasons: it's PURPLE! and it does not have complicated straps (some bras had straps that cross in back and i'm sure my clumsiness could cause me to choke). the bra and its uncomplicated straps are true to size, and i mean real bra sizes. i got the size that was supposed to fit, a 32A, and it did. perfectly! (the ones at target only came in small, medium or large, with not much attention to cup size or inches around).

the overall "feeling" of this bra is comfortable, definitely not tight, and supporting (as much as an A-cup person can claim that a bra provides enough support). one thing i did not understand or care much about was the padding. i never buy any kind of bra that has padding, so it felt weird to have those on. especially while running. i got used to them after a few runs, but i did look like a an alien without nipples.

the material is wicking, and the shirt won't stick to it, yay! the fabric did not hold any odor after washing either (i sweat a lot, so I can vouch for that). i washed it quite a few times and the soft, comfortable feeling was not lost.

this is a well constructed bra, and even the seams go unnoticed. i had no chafing, sliding or dig marks from either the straps or the chest band. it is by far now my best running bra and i need to buy a couple more. i'm not sure i can go back to the other stuff i have, plus they are pretty old, so i won't feel bad replacing them. i will just try to find a model without the padding (this has proved quite difficult with regular bras) as i did not care much for the alien look...

so it turns out the running bra issue is pretty much like the coolmax issue for shirts, shorts and socks. once you try it there is no going back to cotton gear, or cheap, generic bras.

kn cool socks

2009-10-04T03:03:00.000-07:00

let me guess... runners across the country are currently training for marathons such as chicago, nike women's, new york... and hundreds others. it may also be that these runners have already selected their race-day gear (shoes, shorts, tops, watches, hats, sunglasses, sunscreen, etc.) but i'm willing to bet my vip hell entry-pass (hand basket not included) that most have overlooked one key component to finish a race with happy feet, along with a smile on their faces (as opposed to that ever ubiquitous blister cringe). in fact a pair of low quality socks can make even the most fancy-schmancy pair of shoes feel terrible. i bet that is not what you had in mind when forking out $100+ for it!

it's been a while now since i've first discovered the many benefits of socks made specifically with runners in mind (they are designed to protect your feet during a run and can assist with the prevention of injury, blisters, calluses and even odor!) but i still enjoy trying out new brands and concepts, from the ones that have a different sock for your left and right foot, to thick ones with extra padding, to double-layer, to toe-socks, to ultra-slim wicking, and what not.

kn karen neuburger, a lifestyle company dedicated to bringing comfort into people’s lives through their products, is thrilled to introduce a new sport sock that keep runners safe and cool while they run. their sport socks incorporate special moisture control yarn that wick away moisture and allows your feet to breathe. as if this weren't enough, the folks at kn karen neuburger were awesomely cool enough to send me a trial pair of their kn cool socks.

after several runs wearing these socks (in different shoes as well) and wearing them again after machine washing a few times, here are my personal impressions on the kn cool socks (most impressive first; again from my own point-of-view and sock needs):

i checked the contents of the package and read on the insert that these socks sell for $10 for a set of two pairs! now, for the benefits listed below, these would be a great value for the money even at twice the price. (i've paid $13+ for one pair of socks in the past).
after getting over the "reverse-sticker-shock" i unwrapped the socks and was a in for a nice surprise. these socks feature arch support by offering a slightly compression around the arch of your foot. another winner for me.
the sock is overall soft and stretchy, great for the "no-show" style, and the cuff holds it well in place.
it is made of wicking material, which takes care of the moisture and heat* elements of the blister triad (moisture, heat, friction). happy feet!
the seams on top of the toes are very smooth (i turned it inside out and tried to feel them, they don't protrude are are very soft) so that takes care of the friction element of the blister triad, too. no other seams along the body of the sock, except around the cuff where the softness magic was applied once again.
the sock was just the right size; it's snug, stays in place, and no bunching or wrinkling resulted (even with my being known to lacing my shoes (way) too loose...)
washing them did not make them stiff or uncomfortable. (i do use softener and drier sheets, though)

* shoes with mesh on its sides or upper can help keep your feel cool as well, aiding the sock in its wicking and cooling properties.

ps: of course this review highlights what i see as benefits of running socks. there were no downsides in my opinion, but as usual, your mileage may very.

prowash activewear detergent

2009-06-20T03:18:00.000-07:00

a few years ago i was in group therapy and on one session we were asked to create a motivational card for ourselves. i created a card that said "i will beat procrastination" and pasted it on my fridge. (my husband's wise friend greg, knowing me, took a pen and wrote "tomorrow" to complete my mantra and give the card "nattie character"). and so it is. i guess the only time in my life i did not procrastinate was to get out of the womb, as i was a premature baby. other than that i cannot remember not having to mull over getting things done. ugh.

back in december ryan wines from prowash sent me a container of prowash activewear detergent in the mail for me to try out and review. i had fallen off the running wagon after my tonsillectomy, then i had the mother of all ingrown toenails, then i traveled to ny, then christmas rolled in, then next thing i know it is 2009 and there goes another task whose deadline was now last year. (my friend darrell from kansas knows that well, given it once took me a year to reply to one of his emails). anyhow, i was up to renting 5 storage spaces to keep all my dirty laundry, so back in march i washed everything and was welcomed back into polite society with my clean and fresh smelling clothes.

the folks at prowash sent me a nice and soft gym towel along with the detergent and i appreciated that! thanks! my first reaction upon opening the package was that the pouch was kind of small. (it turns out those folks at prowash are not only extremely cool, they are also enviromentally conscious, as the stand up pouch has 9x less impact on our earth than hard plastic bottles). so back to the pouch, prowash is highly concentrated, so 2 fl oz will take care of an entire load of sweaty, grimy, stinky, running clothes. (if you have one of those high efficiency washers you can use 1 fl oz only). and yes, the activewear factor in the detergent does make it so that it cleans (and gets rid of the smell!) better than regular detergents. one word of caution: dispense carefully, as the liquid is not as viscous as other detergents, and you don't want to use more than necessary and waste product. all you need is the 2 fl oz measure for a nasty smelling medium load.

i can only give prowash a 10 out of 10. i sweat A LOT, so i was no gentle test on the detergent, either. i thank you ryan one more time for sending me this great product. you can count on me to become a lifetime customer! wanna try it yourself? you can buy prowash activewear detergent HERE.

bending sound

2009-03-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

you know the feeling when you are listening to a killer song, and you're totally immersed in it, eyes closed, head tilted back, and the sound touches your being in such a pleasurable way it almost hurts, and you soar to the heights of euphoria, and your body opens up in millions of different places, and each of these openings turns inside out, and its smaller constituents start to break open and turn inside out as well, in an orgasmic fractal dismemberment... inside out, outside in, recursively, ad infinitum, and in the process, exhausted and exhilarated you become light and your breath paints the room and the colorful droplets come dancing down on your skin until they become sound again, teasing the mind's eye, and you begin to perceive things with your cells, and every sense is infinitely magnified so that the music is now actually absorbed through your pores... yeah, that's how it feels right now.

on ultras and tonsillectomies

2008-11-04T23:48:00.000-08:00

i'm still in the process of trying to thank all who offered their encouraging words, positive vibes and pep talks before, during, and after the san francisco 1 day. the outpour of emails, "real-time" messages submitted via the form on the race website, voice messages, text messages, all the hugs and high-fives... it all meant so much more to me than any feeble attempt to express my gratitute through use of our limited means of communication could convey.

it would have been all too easy for me to label the entire endeavor a "failure", since I did not stay at it for the entire 24 hours (i sucumbed after 19 hours) and ended up way short of my expectations by logging a meager 57.6 miles. thanks for helping reframe that, allowing myself to break free from the tangled web of my impaired judgement.

on a different subject, (it's been an action-packed past 10 days!), i had surgery to remove my tonsils 5 days ago and am immensely glad that the doctor (and pretty much everyone i talked to prior to surgery) gave me an overly bleak picture of what the next couple of weeks would look like. equipped with advice to arrange for two weeks off work, a prescription for heavy narcotics with 3(!) refills, and a sentence of "two weeks of no driving". i was mentally ready for the most miserable two weeks until i could begin to feel like myself again. (the consensus is that it is a fairly quick and painless recovery for children, but very painful and at a higher risk of bleeding on adult patients).

i was on the pain medication for exactly 2 and a half days, and had two very productive days at work yesterday and today. i did yoga and calisthenics this morning and plan to go on an easy run tomorrow. i'm back to my awfully bizarre eating habits and now my fridge is stocked with 2 weeks worth of jello and apple sauce that will most likely end up going to waste. (hey, if you're local and would like an ample flavor spectrum of free jello 100 calorie packs you're welcome to have them!)

the only positive account of someone who has had a tonsillectomy as an adult came from my ultra-running buddy Pete, and it suddenly made sense to me during my drive from work this afternoon: it is a much valid argument that it is rather hard to assimilate the fact we eagerly PAY to run an ultra in full awareness that we will experience long, miserable hours of pain and agony, and then spend a great deal of time (and more money) planning for the opportunity do it again.

the stuff dreams are made of

2008-11-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

so last weekend i took part in the san francisco 1-day, another spectacular event put on by the pctr (pacific coast trail runs). they put on some thirty races every year, covering much of the northern, central and southern california coast. i've done some of their events, most recently the sycamore canyon 30k (last may). rds wendell and sarah are two of the most selfless people you'll ever meet, and they'll go out of their way if there is anything they feel they can do to help you.

if you're looking to experience some of beauty, fun and camraderie, i strongly suggest you sign up for the santa monica mountains, coming up on the 23rd. with hikers welcome, and options such as 9 km, 18 km, 30 km, and 50 km, it is certain to be a successful solo or family event. (i'll be there)! the views are stunning, and hey, how else could you start thanksgiving week on a caloric deficit?

san francisco 1-day

2008-10-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

what follows is an email i tried to send earlier this afternoon. i couldn't get around gmail's spam detector (mass 'bcc') so here it is, with pictures added.

OK, some of you may know it, some may not (where HAVE you been?), but I will be in San Francisco this weekend for the famous PCTR San Francisco 1 Day.

My goal is to stay awake and on my feet. With focus on staying awake. Heck, I've been living on 3-4 sleep/night for the past month, this should not be a problem for moi. Still, caffeine will be my good friend (as always).

Anyhow, the purpose of this message is to draw a positive vibe from all of you! This is a major running event for me, and I will surely be thinking of my family and friends while doing 1 mile laps on Chrissy Field for 24 hours. (Hey, the views should be stunning, hope for a clear day and night).

Oh, if you feel so inclined, there will be a live webcast, so you can check out how I'm doing (or IF I'm doing...) now if you're feeling really sorry for this hopelessly insane person who claims to be an adult woman, you can send me an encouraging email, too! (Of course you might as well be wondering just how the heck our paths have even crossed... what, mom?) Anyway, they will give runners their messages as they run by the station -- why am I using 3rd person here? Denial? (Hey you folks from the East, if all goes well and you don't sleep past noon on Sunday, I'll still be going when you get up...)

Stay tuned for more gory pictures of blistered toes and hanging toenails.

Take care, y'all, and have a great weekend!!!

post-dinner slump

2008-09-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

if i were 30 years older, this would have been my senior high yearbook picture:

from today's vsl, "that 70's web tool".

a weekend of cracker jacks and gu

2008-09-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

work (a snail's pace) gave us tickets to last friday's angels game. what an experience! when you grow up watching soccer, baseball seems like... well, literally, a whole different ball game. by the 3rd inning, however, i was comfortable enough with the rules not to mistakenly cheer for the rangers. since the game isn't non-stop action like soccer, hubby and i had the chance to socialize with my coworkers, as well. now, to make the first game deal proper, the angels won (3-1), AND there were fireworks after the game. (note to foreigners: eating during the game is apparently just as important as the game itself.)

saturday morning a few of the "peeps" i've been coaching for the past 2 months ran their first race, the kevin cook spirit run 5k. it was a most memorable experience for all, and i even had three people actually manage to get off course. (click here for a map of the park). we thought that was pretty funny, and i was somewhat relieved to find out there are people out there whose navigation skills are comparable to mine.

jimmy buffet meets fruit of the loom

2008-08-09T03:44:00.000-07:00

part fundraiser, part celebration, part running event, last week's city of hope "underwear affair" was quite the sideshow. a charity run to raise awareness of "cancers below the waist", the race allowed for an interesting experience for runners and spectators alike. when else can people run the streets of la (closed to traffic!) wearing nothing but their undergarments?

i learned of the "skivvy run" through my dear friend george, runner extraordinaire and prostate cancer survivor. besides sponsorship and invaluable tips on how to get the best fake butt-tan, i offered my support by joining him for the entire saturday afternoon (as his "cheerleader"), and we couldn't have had more fun.

it was the first running of the event in la, and on our way back to oc i suggested he come back next year and start a "streak". we looked at each other realizing the double entendre of what i had just said and laughed.

more informtation about the event can be found on its official website, http://www.uncoverthecure.org/.

the perfect word: a fruitless quest

2008-07-23T03:27:00.000-07:00

my dear aunt karla once again enlightened me with her wisdom: "there is no perfect word. the greatest word is the one that defies the pull of perfection, spontaneously conveying that which the mind unconsciously yearns for."

Sem essa da palavra ou fala perfeita. Isso não existe, aliás nunca existiu. Em comunicação a grande palavra é aquela que escapa à perfeição, é daí que vem o bom texto. Quase falar como se fala, esconder ou ter inconsciente alguma coisa do pensamento que norteia. Na vida é sempre assim: ..."a harmonia está no lance, do lance vem a construção do mundo."

i'm done waiting for the perfect word in order to reply to an email or compose a blog post, or return a phone call. the perfectionist lives in a dull, never ending state of waiting for something; and perfection comes not even upon death. there's no perfect occasion to wear those super hip retro bell-bottoms, hand-made vest or fresh out-of-the-box pair of salomon xt wings. life goes on while i'm paused waiting for the perfect moment to speak my mind. or the perfect alignment of stars and planets to finally allow myself the simple pleasure of reading a book i so impatiently checked the mail box everyday for. the time is now.

"right now catch that magic moment
do it right here and now
it means everything" -van halen, right now

so i blog. right now. i still think most of the people that end up reading my ramblings are accidental visitors, brought in by the fast streaming google waters, looking for serious running advice and instead being delivered pictures of blistered toes and feet that invariably seem to have a number of toenails that is always less than the number of toes. but lately i've actually had quite a few people telling me they miss reading my ramblings. some i wasn't even aware knew i had a blog.

i enjoy writing. i never did when i was in school. my papers were always returned to me peppered with the teacher's cruel, red and loud evidence of my grammatical offenses. semantics generally elicited a puzzling sequence of question marks (all red, of course).

now, as an adult, i'm learning that choosing silence for fear of imperfection would be the gravest mistake.

the price of a good night's sleep

2008-03-27T03:57:00.000-07:00

i've got it all figured out now. according to this month's issue of health magazine and their cereal box psychology, i need a few essential items to turn my bedroom into a more "soothing" place and promote restful sleep:

1. a pair of natural-fiber pajamas (and i eat my fiber?): light pima cotton cami and boxers, $66 and $40 ("pima" and "cami" were words used in the article, so i'm assuming they exist).

2. an old-fashioned alarm clock, $69 (it seems the bright displays on modern clocks disrupts sleep, and my guess is simply covering it with a book violates some basic feng-shui law).

3. a chamomile and lavender jar candle, $18 (can i skip the bed-time chamomile tea, then?)

4. a multivitamin hand and nail treatment, $22.50 (there seems to be a trend here: i'm ingesting stuff meant to be applied topically, worn, or otherwise snorted).

5. a french organic lavender hand cream, $16 (on top of the nail treatment? this is beginning to get way too confusing and complicated).

6. a simple linen knit throw in pure white, $98 (forget the good old blanket. i need something qualified by at least 5 adjectives).

7. a thomas paul zinnia gray pillow, $40 (is the color of utmost importance or gray just the guy's last name? should i google it...?).

8. and finally, so my skin can breathe, i need percale (another word i'm assuming exists) sheets. himmeli bed linens in a soothing soft gray will do. $109 to $129. (hmm... doesn't it seem just obvious that the linen and pillow should match? gray is not the guy's name).

so let's see... that adds up to... $478.50, if i opt for the cheaper linen (smart shopper i am). and if i'm sleeping, then i'm not lowering my literary standards by reading this sort of magazine... ok, i'll go swallow a clonazepam. wait... or i should crush and snort* it?

*disclaimer: this is just a feeble attempt at humor and by no means a prescription, nor even a mere suggestion on my part for anyone to do that. you've been warned.

sweet dreams.

an insomniac's best deal

2008-03-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

motorola razr v3: $120

calling plan with unlimited nights and weekends: $90

a friend you can call at midnight and talk for one hour: priceless

mustard, anyone?

2008-03-17T13:16:00.000-07:00

i am the middle sister. when i turned four i was beginning to develop a personality of my own. just as i found out i was ok the way i was and didn't have to imitate my older sister, i lost the spotlight to my younger sister.

growing up, i was never told to clean my room. homework? forget it. i'd get it done as soon as i was back from school and then make up "my own homework" because however much was assigned by the teachers didn't seem enough to me.

i'd get out of bed every morning before 6am, on my own. i'd follow the smell of coffee and end up in the kitchen, where my father already had the morning gig going: just-brewed coffee, straight-out-of-the-oven french bread (from the downstairs bakery), butter and cheese. these are treasured memories, specially since i left home at 16.

could i be, to this day, still trying to measure up to my sisters? my older sister got married. then she had a daughter. a few years later my younger sister got married. then i got married! soon my younger sister had a son... i chose to remain childless.

we're very close to each other (despite being in ca, ny and fl) and we talk about everything. my parents included. the other day i had a priceless phone conversation with my dad in which we solemnly discussed additional material for "the aristocrats" joke. it involved german toilets and tape worms.

my older sister reigns alone, though. she seems to be the epitome of it all. the messiest house. the funniest excuses. the longest complaints. the weirdest cat. the clumsiest stories. plain drama, all around. the most routine task, shopping for instance, when undertaken by her, turns into one-third of the florida population (all at least twice her age) trying to help her gather ripped plastic bags, scattered groceries and her fallen, bent-out-of-shape bicycle on a street crossing, just as the light turns green. she wipes her slightly bloody knees, as she gets up and tries to make some sense of what just happened. there are cans of corn and spilled milk on the road. don't ask.

so as i posted earlier today, the mustard container exploded in my hands when preparing breakfast this morning. i took pictures and called my sister. after all, i'd just done something so *HER*, that i had to share. she picks up the phone with a sigh. one of those long, you-are-going-to-pity-me sighs. 'what's the matter?' i try to sound concerned. 'you won't believe this...' she says. 'i spent the entire morning cleaning the bathroom. my husband must have been late for work when he realized, right after his morning constitutional, that the toiled was backed up... so a couple of hours later when i got up...' [sigh]

mustard happens...

2008-03-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

can you tell it's monday...?

yes, i'm that slow...

2008-02-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

yesterday i dropped by my friend bill's place to check out his studio. i'd seen him perform before, and i have some of his music on cd, but what a trip to watch him play as he showed me his latest creations. how incredibly refreshing to simply observe someone manifest their talent, the natural outcome of an exercise in passion.

we had lunch at mother's market (i had a scrumptious acai bowl with gobs of honey) and then i ran back home. yes, i ran to his house and back. it was just under 12 miles (total), but i was starting to feel a bit tired on my way back, about 2 miles from home. running suddenly felt like a major effort, and when i checked my garmin (guessing it would display a 10 min/mile, based on my effort level -- that is my "speed work" pace; yes, i'm that slow) it read a 13 min pace. since i was running so slow anyway, i decided to just walk the rest of the way.

i was thrown in for an existential crisis by the fact that it took me just over 27 minutes to get home. "what am i? a (uber)slow runner? a "fast" walker? why would i care? does it matter? should i have just driven there after all then...? yada yada yada...", i just witnessed as the negative self-talk developed... and vanished. then i felt. grateful.

causa mortis: sweat. death -- and rebirth -- of an mp3 player

2008-01-30T18:40:00.000-08:00

only six months after i got my sansa m250 it died on me. #%&*$@!? i was in love with it already! it was tiny (this is pre-shuffle), easy to operate and the 2gb were plenty for me.

sad loss, but no surprise. i sweat like a pig. when i wrote runner's voodoo i was happy to have resuscitated my sweat busted hydration pack. could i save my mp3 player? i don't know. i didn't try. i called sandisk and explained that my sweat might have corroded the power contacts (or whatever). it wouldn't power up on the external battery, but worked fine when connected to the computer. the technician wasn't eager to offer an exchange right away. he first asked me if i had tried a new battery (DUH!!!) then had me update the firmware and format the device. no success (as expected), so i was offered to send it back for a replacement. yay!

even though i took better care of the new one, (i wore it upside down so the usb port and headset jack were somewhat covered, and i wiped it after every run), it still didn't last a year before it died the same death. #%&*$@!? i called sandisk again, but no luck this time. before hanging up i kindly suggested they improved their product, as it is common for people to wear it while exercising... anyway, since it would still work when connected to the computer, i used it as a pen-drive for a while.

then last weekend i decided to open it up and "take a look", what the heck. (i've been taking things apart -- and most of the time putting them successfully back together -- since i was a kid). you know, to satisfy that itching curiosity to see what's inside (c'mon, i'm not the only one). what i did to my sansa was simple, and since it worked, i'm posting a picture here and encouraging anyone to "play" with something they've already resigned to throwing out, before actually doing so. (i repeat and emphasize "already resigned to throwing out").

the red circles show the battery contacts. they were pretty gunky, and i cleaned both with a q-tip dabbed in alcohol. the negative pole, by the usb port, left, was so salty i had to scrape it with a toothpick. i also cleaned some salt/rust from around the circuit battery (red arrow).

i then tested it by carefully holding the aaa battery in place while pressing down on the switch (bottom left, by the negative pole) and it powered on beautifully! now this is very important: in my excitement i broke the lcd when putting the circuit back in its casing, so make sure you keep your cool until the very end, after everything is properly put back together AND tightly closed. well, it works. i just can't see half of the display anymore...

ps: the player now goes in a ziplock bag in my waist pack, as opposed to strapped to my arm.

pier to pier

2007-11-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

yesterday i ran from the newport pier to the huntington pier (pictured below). it was quite a foggy morning. i was experimenting with different electrolyte drinks, and was stationed at a sink refilling my bottle with water and cliff electrolyte powder when i took the pic to the right.

water... please...

2007-11-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

i am all over the place right now my bedroom is a mess the check engine light just came on and i need to tell glenn about it and i did not make that phone call but i made sure to wrap the handset and my note around it with mailing tape. my main coping skill is running but writing helps me as well. i sometimes wonder whether i'll ever feel normal again but of course, what is normal? i tried to make a mobius strip last night but the paper i used was not wide enough and then the ends came unglued anyway. i'm reading that book for the second time. i always am impressed at how the works of godel escher and bach are so intertwined and woven together like the web of a lonely thirsty spider. it just lies there oblivious of the human hand that ruthlessly executes its fate. she was a happy spider, after all.

the riddle

2007-10-05T00:14:00.000-07:00

at first it was curiosity: "what is this?", as i watched a little red square piece of paper make its way to the carpet from steve vai's sound theories cd's liner notes. then surprise, as i read: "valid for one (1) admission for any one (1) meet & greet on the upcoming 2007 steve vai sound theories tour"! (in print so small and blurry i'd make my optometrist proud). having just attended the orange county concert of the tour, it was easier to feel bummed, rather than lucky. my thoughts race. "maybe the tour isn't over yet". "... i could perhaps travel somewhere, and still use the pass". "is the computer on?", "why didn't i find this 4 months ago when i bought the cd?", "wow... i've never won anything!", "how come i didn't know about this?" i spend the next 30 minutes hunched over my laptop, my cell phone glued to my right ear.

results:

fri, oct 5, 8:00 am: united airlines, orange county/nyc
sat, oct 6, 08:00 pm: steve vai, north fork theatre, westbury, ny, section G, row S, seats 1-3

i sit here with antagonizing thoughts and intense feelings that are hard to process. there are implications to my going on this last-minute trip. i'll have to deal with them later. there are also plusses, such as the fact that i'll get to see my parents, my sister and my nephew.

sometimes i feel like all i want is to do is "sail in the wind's eye", as fiery lord byron wrote.

ah, life. in all its grandeur.

mt.disappointment 50k

2007-08-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

without a doubt the hardest race i've ever done. i thought the tahoe rim trail 50k had been a killer, since it took me almost 10 hours to finish the 50k, but the mt. disappointment 50k had me struggling on the course for 11ish hours.

the heat was ruthless, and the stretch of 7 miles -- miles 14-21 -- without aid brought me to despair. about halfway, at mile 17.5, i start to panic. what do i do? turn around, go back and give up? or keep going, dying of thirst and afraid of a heat-stroke? i continued on, putting one foot in front of the other. i knew i was closer to my goal with each step, no matter how slow i was going. getting to the mile 21 aid station i laid down on the picnic table bench, drank tons of water, ate orange and watermelon, rested a bit more and went on my way. i still had to lay down quite a few times along the course, and when i found a creek i got myself soaked from head to toe. it felt GREAT! the last 5 miles were sheer torture, all up, a steep climb on narrow switchbacks when my feet were already screaming for mercy.

i was expecting to be the only one from our running gang at this race, but was really pleasantly surprised to see e-rod, greg, charlie, alexa, michael, eric kp running his first ultra, and steph. they all managed to do better than me (and the news is...?).
since tahoe rim trail headphones have been prohibited during a race, so i'm getting used to running without them. the good thing about it is that i get to talk to a lot of people i wouldn't otherwise talk had i been listening to music. it also a great opportunity to feel one with nature, taking in not only the smells and sights, but the sounds as well.

the only thing worse than the race was driving back home. i drive the speed limit (65mph) on the freeways and that seems to annoy most of the drivers. they flash their lights, tailgate, beep, flip me off, and a host of nice stuff. i got mad about halfway with the cars flying by and took the first exit, driving from buena park to newport beach on surface streets. getting home and taking a shower, i slept like a baby. now it's two months race-free and the 35 miler in november, in santa barbara. supposedly a hard race whose times are comparable to 50 miler times. so i'm expecting at least 12 hours to finish this race.

this morning at 6am i fly to florida, (naples), for a family reunion. we'll be all together after 7 years or so. i'm excited. i'm thinking about not sleeping, since i leave for the airport at 4:45am, and it's already 2:20am. :-)

off to mt. disappointment 50k

2007-08-11T02:31:00.000-07:00

off to mt. disappointment 50k! woohoo!!! and... perfect weather! this will be my 17th race (marathon and longer) and my 12th ultra. pretty cool.

SORRY FOLKS, if i'm a living application of the law of unintended consequences...

namiwalks 2007

2007-07-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

"the most shocking thing about mental illness is how much it is misunderstood".

it's that time of the year... this upcoming october 6th, nami (national alliance on mental illness), is putting on their namiwalks event again. on this day, thousands of concerned citizens in more than 60 communities across the nation will walk together to raise money and awareness about our country's need for a world class treatment and recovery system for the members of its 1 in 5 families that are affected by a mental illness.

click on the picture to sponsor my walk

the simplest thing you can do to help is to visit nami's website and learn something about mental illness today. if you feel more daring, you can wear a silver ribbon and help fight stigma (you're also helping fight stigma if you monitor biased portrayals of people with mental illness in the media). you can also give a tax-deductible gift to NAMI and be part of the help that it brings people everyday.

errands, nattie style

2007-07-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

today i needed to go to the post office get some 2 cent stamps and to the drugstore pick up a prescription. it is a fact that i hate driving. if i can walk somewhere, i will. in addition to that, it is summer, and the small peninsula on which i live gets crowded beyond control during this time of year. it can take up to an hour just to cross the bridge over here, and getting to my apartment is no easy task either, when the streets are completely packed with tourists.

so in about the same style as in "tuesday's urban challenge" last october, i decided to forget the car and run the errands on foot. complete running apparel, waist water pack, and money. the stop and the post office was quick, and i stored the stamps in my waist pack. then on to cvs, used the blood pressure machine to check my blood pressure (which was low as usual), picked up my prescription and decided to make a pit stop at pizza bravo to have my favorite mediterranean pizza. back on the way home i smile at the view of the packed bridge and packed streets. i get home and feel great for not having driving, and for having put on 7 miles on my feet, instead.

preparing for the tahoe rim trail 50m

2007-07-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

again i made a list of articles to pack (see "an exercise on packing"). this list brings some peace of mind at the same time that it causes a certain deal of stress. i packed a big duffel, as i'm flying to st. louis 10 days before the race, to meet with my husband who's road tripping from nyc to orange county on the car he just bought in buffalo, from his uncle who's recently passed away.

i always have the feeling that i'm forgetting something, even basing my packing on a list i wrote months ago when i had a cool head. the most important things are my running outfit, socks and shoes. that's already been packed -- and re-checked. a also like to carry a map of the course, with mileage for the aid stations and if possible a description of the course. i printed these items and laminated the map, so it survives my excessive sweating.

i've struggled on a few of my last long runs, so i'm not going into this 50 miler with soaring confidence... but i do have hopes of finishing, based on my prior 50 miler finishes, on the course description and on the time limit (16 hours). of course there are cut-offs at certain aid stations along the course, so i need to keep my focus on running the race and always do my best.

a few of our orange county trail runners are running this race (50k: michelle, maz man, robo, pam, addy; 50m: keven, keira, greg, ryan, dean, and myself) as well as other bloggers that sometimes come over here and leave comments (gretchen and steph). i may obviously be forgetting someone, as well. i'm sure we're all looking forward to a fun race. see you all there for carb dinner in 10 days!

back from the dead

2007-07-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

after an almost two-month break due to a health issue that deviated my focus from blogging, i am back... not that nothing worth blogging happened in the interim; life goes on, right? at least if i run out of blogging material in the present, i can resort to a few interesting events from these past 2 months. :-)

no races to report. i ran leona in may, but skipped my june race, the holcomb valley 33 miler. my first DNS. (Did Not Start). now that it is in the past i am extremely bummed about it, but there's nothing i can do to alter the past. (really?)

today i find myself preparing for the tahoe rim 50 miler and planning two trips, one in july and one in august. more on that later.

leona divide 50 miler

2007-05-18T03:59:00.000-07:00

you can ask me where lake hughes is: i submerged both my feet in it on the morning of the 21st of april. SHIT! as i step out of greg's car (we've become race partners) and into the only puddle in the entire parking lot. no, make that the entire town! this is freaking lake hughes i'm standing in!

it is quite warm inside the community center, where runners nervously sip hot drinks to wash down those bus-sized costco muffins they're shoving down despite the knot in their stomachs and the ever growing potty line. my shoes and socks seem to have dried.

angels in the kitchen

the night before we gathered in the community center for check-in, dinner and race briefing. we were greeted by friendly ladies from the community who volunteer their time so that runners can have a memorable pre-race gastronomic experience. we do. we were served salad, roll, a generous helping of spaghetti and a choice of cake for dessert. i special ordered a bigger slice of carrot cake, and was given a huge slab, with extra frosting. (i paid for it later). the race is a non-profit event and a large share of the proceeds are donated to the live again recovery home (is that where we're taken after the race?) and the painted turtle children's camp.

the pct

a few years ago my husband was talking to a neighbor about women. 'what's your favorite body part?', glenn asks. 'the one my hand's at'. that's how i feel about races: the one i'm running is always my favorite, and remains so until the next race. during the leona divide 50 i had the opportunity to run 34 miles on the pct (pacific crest trail), a trail that runs along the us west coast from mexico to canada. i had run on it before, on a camping trip to kings canyon and yosemite national parks, but only for a meager 7 miles.

the pct is 2,650 miles long and features 300,000 ft of elevation change. its highest point (forester pass) stands tall at 13,153 ft. running on the pct is a humbling experience, whether you run 3, 30, 100 miles of it and realize how little ground you've covered considering the length of the entire trail, or you venture out on a complete crossing of the us on it, and come to humbly respect the power of nature -- and at the same time marvel at its majesty. (watch 'the runner' to live a bit of david horton's touching experience running/hiking the pct for 66 consecutive days in an attempt to set a speed record).

the race outcome

i was worried about not making the 13-hour finish cutoff. i completed my first 50 miler (avalon benefit 50) in 12:32. according to the study on relative difficulty among ultra events conducted by gary wang and published on the ultra list on march 21st 2007, leona divide is a bit harder than avalon, a fact that was also confirmed by fellow octr sue, who has run both races. considering i spent a significant time at aid stations at avalon (33 minutes total) my main strategy for leona was to get in and out of aid stations as fast as i could. i also decided not to bring my camera (hence no photos on this entry) to save a bit more time. it was a most pleasant surprise when i, at the 42.6 aid station, realized i could make it in under 12 hours. i was 9:59 hours into the race, and had 3 hours to complete about 8 miles. 4.5 miles of steep climbing followed, and i tried to keep a steady power walk pace. i was able to conserve energy by not running at that point, and therefore could fly the last 3 (downhill) miles. finish time was 11:47:46. pain was not so bad on sunday. i even ran on monday.

the lesson

so one thing i noticed about front runners: they either carry NOTHING or just one handheld bottle. i'm sure this is partly because they are done so fast, they don't need much during the race. probably one gulp of water or gatorade at the aid stations, where they stop for about two seconds.

me? i'm a back of the packer, but still i can learn from them. i'm guessing i had about ten pounds of gear on me. ok, so maybe two or three pounds are really indispensable stuff (clothes, shoes, socks, hat, sunglasses) and my personal musts: my garmin and my ipod. but what about the other 7 or 8 pounds? well, here's what i remember i carried (there might be some stuff i'm forgetting, as it's been a while since the race): i had a jacket and gloves that i wore for maybe one hour and had to carry for the following 10 hours and 47 minutes. i had a double-bottle waist pack and one handheld bottle. that's two times 22 oz plus 20 oz. 64 oz. that's already 4 pounds just there. i obviously had my garmin and my ipod. well, then inside the waist pack i had:

plenty of first aid items, (used none)
a vast selection of drugs, (used ibuprofen and succeed caps)
4 gels, (used two)
2 baggies of trail mix, (used none)
a can of pepper spray, (did not use)
a whistle, (did not use)
4 extra servings of cytomax, (not used)
3 ginger candies, (not used)
1 spare battery, (not used)
chapstick. (used many times)

lesson learned. so at bishop (that's tomorrow) i'm carrying my gps and my music, and one handheld bottle with chapstick, 4 ibuprofen pills and 6 succeed caps. nothing else. i'll probably feel somewhat obsessive, unsafe, almost naked. but i need to fight my habit of hauling tons of stuff with me so i feel "safe". not just running, but in general. just weighed the overstuffed tote i cannot leave the house without: 9 lb.

what's new

2007-04-29T03:23:00.000-07:00

i've updated my ruNniNG sCrApBooK with mementos of my recent races.

btt info 2002-2006

2007-04-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

this is what happens when you suffer from chronic insomnia: after sorting through books and packing donation boxes, you decide to wash your car, clean your bathroom, lift stains from the carpet, arrange the hangers in your closet so that they're all equidistant, organize the refrigerator... and when you run out of physically stimulating things to do, you move on to a series of mentally engaging projects. if you're an obsessive compulsive runner, you keep methodical records of all your runs in that fancy logbook you bought at barnes & noble, filling page after page with an overkill of otherwise meaningless numbers. if you're a hip, technologically inclined runner, you keep an online log at breakingthetape.com, and revel in the variety of data analysis options available. (if you're a neurotic runner, you obviously keep both a written and an online version of the log). so playing around with my online log i gathered the following stats from years 2003-2006:

info	value	date
longest distance/month	176.65 m	nov 2006
longest race week distance/week	56.6 m	apr 16 2006
longest training week distance/week	54.9 m	oct 9 2006
longest racing distance/month	35.5 m	jun 2003
longest training distance/month	140.3 m	may 2004
most running time/week	10.15 hrs	oct 9 2006
most running time/month	32.2 hrs	may 2004
slowest average race pace/month	17:54 min/m	apr 2004
fastest average race pace/month	10:24 min/m	mar 2003
slowest average training pace/month	13:28 min/m	sep 2003
fastest average training pace/month	9:54 min/m	dec 2006
lowest weight	104 lb	oct & nov 2005
highest weight	125 lb	apr & dec 2006

now, dear fellow neurotic runners, isn't it utterly important to know i ate too much on easter and christmas 2006?

ultra-late, ultra-brief lake hodges write-up

2007-04-25T04:42:00.000-07:00

never mind that i only had two hours of sleep. never mind that during those two hours my sleep was intermittent and my dreams bizarre and fragmented. never mind the cold at the start, or the ruthless heat that made the second half of the race so miserable. never mind the painful toenails. it was a beautiful, sunny day (as opposed to last year's rain, wind and hail, as i was told), the scenery was gorgeous, and we had a race attendance record of 15 runners from our running club, the octr (orange county trail runners).

a few of us met at a gas station at 5am to carpool, and we noticed the food mart's name: "the extra mile"... charlie wondered if it was bad omen: maybe one of us would get lost?

the course consisted of two out-and-backs, the first one of 16 miles. skip, a dear friend from the octr, ran the first out-and-back with me, plus one mile of the second one, for 17 miles together, and a run of 18 miles for him, his longest run to that date.

the second out-and-back had what we thought was the turn around aid station at 7.5 miles out. happy to have found shade, cold drinks, food, and a bench (yes, i sat down) i took my time sipping coke and resting my legs, only to be brought to reality from my semi-trance by the words "most runners are doing this on the way back"... "what do you mean 'way back'?" i asked. reality struck ruthlessly as i found out i still had another .5 mile to go to the REAL turn around, making the race a total of 32 miles... "so this is the extra mile after all", i thought, remembering the gas station food mart omen at the start of the day... no one in our group got lost, but we all ran an extra mile, for a 50k of "32" miles.finishing this race was bliss, after the extreme heat and exhaustion. the ice cubes i put under my hat at the "real turn around" and at the last aid station (3 miles from the finish) helped beat the heat. they sure did the trick, as i was able to pass people in the last 8 miles. i finished in 7:09:41, ahead of 31 finishers and 21 dnfs. i might be turning into a stronger runner, as i'd normally be either dead last or pretty damn close (or dnf). i shall return next year.

pre-race jitters

2007-03-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

i guess it doesn't matter how many times you've done this (i'm not a seasoned ultra runner anyway); if you've just finished reading a book titled the complete neurotic: the anxious person's guide to life, it is somewhat likely you'll experience the jitters before a race. well, at least i do... (the book is a must read, by the way, whether you're a self-admitted neurotic or not).

upon waking up this morning (4:23am) i began to think about my race tomorrow. naturally, i decided to start packing, which, obviously, raised the anxiety level a few points. from 'what socks do i wear?', to 'how many servings of cytomax do i bring?', i quickly fill my duffel, but eventually remember my carpooling arrangements are up in the air at this point. a situation that will be resolved later today, (even if it means driving alone -- neurosis alert!), but that nonetheless graces the neurotic with a few extra grays.

the race course is simple, and that looks good right now. a 16.2-mile out-and-back, back to the start (drop bag), followed by another 15-mile out-and-back. i like the split: it's not a 31.2 race, it's two medium-distance training runs. right? one race or two training runs, i am as excited as ever before a race. my guess is even veteran ultra runners experience this... but heck, why do i know?

'wait!!!! did i pack my shoes?!?!?!?!?'

highlights of some of this month's fun runs...

2007-03-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

~march 2nd, harding truck trail~

a day of extremes: up harding's unrelenting 9.3-mile climb i am enjoying the spectacular views of the snow-capped mountains, soaking in the faint warmth of the morning sun, and just plain appreciating life. 7 miles up the trail i begin to feel cold... really cold. a few steps ahead and i come across a frozen puddle, in a most psychedelic arrangement of ice, water, rocks and twigs. (no, i left the mushroom gel at home...) i run through a few sections of snow on the ground. i'm freezing. upon reaching the top of the trail i dramatically cut my break short, as i'm shaking violently at this point. i wash down two clif shot blocks with a few gulps of water and start running down, hoping my semi-frozen hands will not fall off. hey, i need to drive home! on my way down i start feeling lightheaded. it doesn't get better; in fact, it gets worse with time. i feel dizzy; i feel like i'm going to pass out. it's too hot. i'm overheating... man, it's hot! i'm weak... at least i know that, at some point, my (faster) running fellows that went farther up the mountain will catch up with me; so being found dead days later is not a preoccupation. i see a picnic table ahead and ponder whether to stop, peel off a few layers, eat and drink... 'naw, i'm two miles from the bottom... i just wanna be done. i'll keep going'. in about two and a half minutes i turn around and run back up to crash at the table. i take my jacket off, eat a packet of sports beans and drink some water. i feel better instantly.

lesson learned: duh! i can't expect to not eat breakfast, and then run 18 miles through extreme temperature changes on just two clif shot blocks! (a serving is three blocks, by the way). i wonder why i didn't eat more, and sooner. my fanny pack was well-stocked with gels in assorted flavors, sports beans and a lara bar. well, i wanted to be done already, and didn't want to "waste" time eating. 'i'm almost there, anyway'... it turned out not only did i feel better as soon as the sugar hit my bloodstream, the "wasted" time sitting and eating paid itself off with stronger and faster running back to the car. if i want my body to perform at its best, i need to fuel it properly, frequently. wise up, nattie!

~march 10th, wtrs 21k~

beiyi, skip, and i at the mile-3 aid station

no such thing as too much fun: after reading charlie's account of the 18k two weeks before, i just HAD TO run the last race of the winter trail run series. skip, beiyi and i faithfully maintained our back-of-the-pack status. i think only two people finished after us. whatever! we had so much fun running, talking, taking pictures, crawling up horsethief, and orchestrating octr's upcoming adventures for the entire year. and of course, that was the day in which skip coined the phrase "luv from the back", in an attempt to put into words all the fun we, back-of-the-packers, have.

~march 11th, black star canyon~

robert, me and greg after our run (photo kindly "borrowed" from greg, who by the way took a decent shot just holding the camera at arm's length)

it's all good: never mind the fact that we partied all night at keira's, AND that it was the first day of daylight saving time. loyal runners that we are, we gladly got up at 5 and met at black star canyon at 6 for a 10-mile run. 'why?' some ask. 'why not?' we reply.

lesson learned: feeling crappy is not fun, but it doesn't last, either. after a grueling climb, and many frustrated attempts to convince my running partner beiyi that i just had to turn around before our agreed upon turn-around point, i had the best of times flying down the trail back to the start. indeed: it's all good.

~march 17th, st. patty's party: luge to old camp~

skip, me, wendy, mary and e-rod partying away at old camp (photo kindly "borrowed" from wendy; or should i say skip, since he carried the camera?)

right up there: what could possibly top a "party run" with awesome friends, beer and shamrock cookies, that could be posted on a blog without offending anyone? i can't think of anything else. we took the "luge" trail -- that by the way does its name complete justice -- up to old glory and the santiago truck trail down to old camp, site of our party, then back up santiago, followed by a wild adventure down the "luge". the day started with a "runners bonding moment", when four of us chicks sneaked into the bushes for a "group pee". on our way to old camp we had the endless opportunity to make fun of skip and his 25-pound backpack, even though we all contributed in some way to jack up its weight. (wendy's camera, wendy's grapes, wendy's suntan lotion, probably a few other items from wendy i can't remember right now... oh, yeah, and my pink gloves). e-rod was kind enough to haul that heavy gear up for quite a few miles, and we would all laugh every time the camelbak nozzle fell off and water leaked all over the place, immediately followed by skip's comment: "we are having an equipment malfunction".

lesson learned: always carry basic first-aid items with you on a long run. alcohol pads, band-aids, neosporin and some vicodin... i mean, ibuprofen. skip's friend tracy, on her very first trail run, took a nasty spill on the way down. she had a few cuts and scrapes, and all we had was one alcohol pad and two ibuprofen pills. we found some bikers that gave us some band-aids, but when wendy rolled her ankle about a mile later, we had no more pain pills. not good. oh, and please: bring enough water for the amount of hours you intend to be out, plus another 50% of that amount for an emergency! see charlie's account of this run for the reason why...

man, i'm really blessed to have such wonderful friends that share the same passion for running.

ultra quotes

2007-03-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

being an extreme sport, ultra-running lends itself to all sorts of creative, funny, and painfully true quotes. "you're almost there!", "looking good!", "it's all downhill from here!", "aid station is just around the bend!", are some common ones, but there are also jewels such as "it never always gets worse", and "the race continued as i hammered up the trail, passing rocks and trees as if they were standing still", as said red fisher on his wasatch front 100 experience in '86. do you have any quotes (ultra related or not) that you would like to share?

alive in an ultra world

2007-03-09T03:33:00.000-08:00

it was some time in 1994 when i first heard about steve vai. his name was used in the same sentence as "frank zappa", followed by nouns like "virtuoso" and adjectives like "unconventional". i just had to check him out. i bought "passion & warfare", which was a good introduction to his music. (i would have not been ready to digest the denser material then available: the zappaesque "flex-able" and the peculiar "sex & religion"). from the cover, to the music, to the insert notes, everything about that album fascinated me. i was hooked.

steve's music colors my life. i consider him the musical version of byron, for his ability to dissect the human soul and reveal its very core. his music has been the backdrop for hookups and breakups; it has inspired me; it has carried me through difficult runs.

i'd been toying with the idea for a while, and a couple of weeks ago i finally consummated it: i found a partner in crime :-) and we both went to a tattoo shop and got inked. ha! i now carry the "vai" symbol under the skin on my left arm. sweet!

post-race reflections

2007-02-24T08:32:00.000-08:00

participating in the orange curtain 100k was a unique experience. from the race website: "the orange curtain 100 km race has been created for the purpose of preparing and qualifying southern california athletes for international competition..." (obviously not the reason i decided to run this race). the course couldn't be a better fit for that purpose: flat, short, repetitive. it fosters complete focus. a 10k, ten times. it helps runners keep track of splits and stay on pace. and if you're not going for a qualifying time... well, then you'll experience the ever mysterious brain decay.

nutrition/hydration: it was very hot, so i made sure to drink plenty. and to take my electrolyte pills. two per hour, as advised by a dear friend. which i later found out to be too much... but hey, i lived. the aid station was abundantly stocked with the usual ultra chow, and more. i didn't eat much, though. i just couldn't. due to the scorching heat, my stomach was much happier on fluids only. i did take a few honey stinger gels.

pain: 90% of the course had an adjoining dirt path, but i chose to stay on pavement. i pretty much started hurting at about the marathon point, mild, manageable pain. i was very sore but still fine after 50k. the longest i had ever run on pavement. beyond that it just kept escalating with every additional mile banked. by 75k i was reduced to a miserable, slow, painful walk. finishing that lap was sheer agony.

body vs. mind: upon completing 80k i totally bonked. big time. my racing, euphoric mind couldn't think of anything else but going on for however long it would take me, and finishing that race. but my stiff body just wouldn't respond anymore. i told the rd i was calling it a day at that point, and got an official 50k finish time of 6:47:35. geez, not even a pr! i had been running for the past 11 hours 44 minutes and 17 seconds, covering 49.7 miles. this time my mind was ok, but the body bailed out on me. in twin peaks, the body was just fine, but my mind made me drop at 38 miles. is there a state in which either can go on, in spite of the other? there must be. i'll dig deep until i uncover it.

aftermath:

interlude

2007-02-19T12:28:00.000-08:00

the previous was as close as i could get to reproducing my experience running 50 miles on a 3-mile stretch of road. to follow: post-race recap.

brain decay at the orange curtain 100k

2007-02-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

i shoulda gotten some sleep... too late now. one mile into the race. it's good to have this lady behind me, her headlamp is lighting my way. so jay said three underpasses... did he mention a tunnel? i can use these as markers... no, no music yet; it's still dark. i need to focus. i can't see the guys ahead anymore... this must be the tunnel... what now... left or right? pathetic to get lost in such course. here comes the lady... oh, right. of course... keep following the river... this ain't gonna be so bad. 10k... 10k's are easy. i can do ten of them in a row... after this first one i'll put the music on. a flashlight? turnaround. now i know the bridges. tunnel, underpass, side underpass... side underpass, underpass, tunnel...

"ground control to major tom: take your protein pills and put your helmet on"... two to go. this will make it easy. lap one... i should devise a system... the headbands... the four are moved one by one to my left wrist... then they are moved back to the right wrist... that's eight. then i move two back to the left wrist and i have two on each wrist, and i'm done! will i lose track of which wrist i'm taking from... moving to... ok, the two reds are first. then the brown one. yellow is last... i'll know by the color pattern which wrist is which. perfect. cool. 1:13... not bad... i'll keep it up...

"in a trance, while the lonely mingle with circumstance? i've got something to tell you, you make it show let me come over, i know you know when you dance i can really love"... very simple... just keep going. i'm getting into the zone already. where can i find a bathroom... shoot! locked. get back on course... they'll probably be unlocked later, it's too early still... succeed caps... two per hour. i'll be fine. red bull at 50k... no no no just focus on the here and now. litter. not good. why do people litter? wonder if this is for sewage and drainage... did i ever open yesterday's mail! ah... bathroom... finally.

"for these enlightened aliens leave permanent imprinted information on the psyche of those chosen humans"... there's that purple detergent jug again... wow, she's going so fast! do i...? again? it says rest stop... that's close to the tunnel? or have i've been thru it yet? i should be good for a while. i'll try the honey stinger now... hmm, good gel... water... one more sip. it is a sewer alright. pew! joy... is that the turnaround underpass? which one did i go under last? wait, i get water at the other aid station, this is the gatorade one... or is it...? shit, it's getting pretty hot! yellow. what do i smell... horses? horses. why does it have to be so hot?

"speak to me of summer, long winters longer than time can remember, the setting up of other roads, to travel on in old accustomed ways. i still remember the talks by the water"... yeah, bathroom. again. ha! there's it is... the giant penis! underpass? bathroom #3? oh, gas station. alright. wait, what direction am i going? pain. do i have my car key? walmart trucks... triple l truck... hole on the fence... oh, aid station. was it always green? pain. it was blue at first, and now it's green. not likely... oh, please, now my chondromalacia will flare up? oh, there's that guy again. wait... it's not here... i wish i were that fast. red? ha, red bull! i'm halfway... i'm beat... ibuprofen, it's gotta work. watch out, there's that crack again.

"best laid plans come apart at the seams shatter my dreams. sometimes i feel like screaming, close my eyes it's times like this my head goes down"... yeah... i never returned his cd... at least i'm already an official finisher for the 50k... what kind of relationship was that, anyway? pain. we were dephased, as always... life is funny. here we go. giant penis again. am i in between the first two bridges? i mean, the last two. pain. didn't i just smell the horses? holy crap! did i just sit on this filthy toilet? no, there's the tunnel. have i taken a lethal dose of caffeine? after the green playground. of course. well, i guess i'll never know now. those were good years, though. still, how could i ever keep his cd?

"my mind knows what it wants but my body just drags me down and my world is something you can’t see but it’s still very real to me"... this is lame. i'm walking. fence, detergent jug, crack, horses, giant penis, bathroom, playground. underpass, water stop. my nose is dripping. horses, walmart trucks. i can't stand... the pain... gas station, track, tunnel. pain. did i turn off the coffee maker? i'm tripping. whoa, bicycle! an inch closer and i would have fallen in the channel. thanks! should i just call it a day? i'm at 74k... bummer, i'm reduced to a 3.5mph walk... what was breakfast? maybe i should have bought the other pack? i like blue.

"so tear me open and pour me out there's things inside that scream and shout and the pain still hates me so hold me until it sleeps"... pain. what's going on... what was i thinking? water, electrolytes. ibuprofen, gel. pain. no, i can't quit. i will get my headlamp at the end of this lap. then two more laps... pain. i can do that... my legs... can't... obey... i don't wanna quit. just... move... the water moves... i wanna go on... move... step forward... maybe... trees look funny... why is...? Where...? do i...? shit, i'm close now! there is jay. i will tell him. i'm done. my mind wants to go on... my body... won't respond anymore. "this is it for me".

the joy of having running partners

2007-02-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

in 2003, the year i started running, i joined a track club and did all my saturday long runs with a nice group of people. that was great, but not enough to justify the $200 in yearly dues. i was getting none of the promised coaching at all (the coach always seemed too busy to work with anyone that couldn't run a 6:00 mile or faster), so i decided not to renew my membership in 2004.

i was then training solo, which can be both a blessing and a curse. i could have all those killer songs on, or just be with my thoughts and solve all the problems of the world in my racing mind during long runs. sure, i could focus on my breathing, count strides, people watch. but i sometimes missed that type of fun that only companionship can bring. you know, when boredom is dissipated, pain is forgotten and so much is shared.

fast forward to july 2006. i start blogging about running. i find blogs by other runners. i come across jessica's blog and she invites me to join her trail running group, the oc trail runners. there weren't many runners at first, but after a story in the orange county register on the ultra race she was organizing, (the twin peaks 50/50, that took place in the santa ana mountains last feb. 4th), a growing number of local runners found out about her group and started joining. soon we were up to over 40 members, and the slots for the twin peaks race -- 110 -- were all filled.

today i am very grateful for the wonderful runners i've met (including bloggers jeff, darrell, jessica, greg, pete, jon, kim, matt, charlie, and angie).

when we run together, we draw strength from each other, and that's beautiful. not surprisingly, it took someone else believing in me, for me to believe in myself, forget the "i can'ts", and just do it! sorta like a close friend of mine who utterly dislikes mayonnaise, but hasn't ever tried it, i had this immutable belief, deeply ingrained in my dna, that i could not run up hills. had i even tried it? yes, but always with a firm conviction i would once again fail. i kept proving myself right.

three weeks ago fellow octrailrunner beiyi and i got together for a 16 mile run in black star canyon. naturally, the first thing i told her was that i was totally unable to run up hills, and therefore would walk up all of them. "i'm sure you can", she said. i laughed, and promptly told her i had tried "many times", but had never been successful. she wouldn't give up easily, though. "just stay with me, and i'll show you that you can".

we started off on a mostly flat, paved road. we didn't reach the trailhead until 2.5 miles into the run. once we did, 5.5 miles of uphill running awaited us. she told me to keep my stride short, and just keep jogging up, no matter how slow. soon i managed to coordinate my breathing pattern and my running cadence, and figured if i could just keep that under control, i'd be fine. i acknowledged the pain in my calves and hamstrings, and ignored it. i could deal with pain; it was just the "i-think-i'm-gonna-puke-my-lugs-out-at-any-moment-now" feeling i couldn't seem to shake off. we kept working our way up, taking short walk breaks after very steep or very long climb stretches. i dreaded the moment i'd have to start running again, and beiyi would put herself back in running mode rather quickly, forcing me to fight my inertia and join her. i welcomed the few flats we encountered along the way, but also found myself slowly embracing the hills. i was breaking that barrier no one other than myself had built. it was almost surreal that i was actually running up the hills. i couldn't stop thanking beiyi. (she may in fact have gotten tired of my copious professions of gratitude). reaching the top that morning has become one of my most memorable running moments. (right up there with losing my first toenail, puking after a run for the first time, sticking a needle in my first running blister, getting lost at the holcomb valley 33-mile race, taking a spill at the holy jim trail, going up the joplin trail, ...)

so get out there, find a running partner, a running group. we all share a deep-rooted passion for the sport. this passion creates an instant bond that is hard to explain, but so easy to understand.

twin peaks 50: a stirring endeavor

2007-02-07T04:36:00.000-08:00

it's dark. i'm alone. all i hear is my own breathing. all i see is a round spot on the ground, lighted by my headlamp, where my foot is going to land next. i can feel it... it is getting stronger... it defeats me. the ruthless grip of fear. 38 miles into the race i get in the car that would take me to the finish line.

it was no surprise that twin peaks would be a hard race. having run most of the course in training, i knew what i was in for. or so i thought. i knew how hard the trails were, how brutal the climbs. but i had no idea how challenging combining these trails into a single run of 50 miles would be.

right from the start, a 9-mile climb up harding truck trail, i knew this would be a lonely run. as i saw the headlamps move quickly up the trail and disappear, negative self-talk took a strong hold of me. why do i have to be so slow? but soon anger and self-pity were replaced with acceptance and gratitude. i turned my music on, put a smile on my face and just kept going up the hill.

i reached the aid station at the top of harding truck trail after 2 hours and 20 minutes. i refilled both my bottles, took a hammer gel, and continued my way up, now on main divide road. the out-and-back trail to the top of modjeska peak was only 2 miles away. it was a short climb, but the trail was steep and very rocky, requiring full attention, especially on the way down.

back on main divide road, i continued on to the aid station at the top of santiago peak, 4 miles ahead. there i got a mental boost from the friendly volunteers, drank, ate, and refilled my bottles. it felt good to finally be going down after santiago peak. i thought this 8-mile stretch on main divide road to the west horsethief trailhead would be all downhill, but it included an unexpected (and tough) 5-mile climb to the top of trabuco peak. i hadn't run that part of the course before.

at the aid station at the top of trabuco peak i got compliments for having "a beautiful smile after running 23 miles". that's always good to hear, but i wasn't even halfway through the race, and a lot could (and would) change later on. i refilled my bottles, put a handful of pretzels in my fanny pack, and started my way down west horsethief trail. this 4-mile portion of the race was both a blessing and a curse. sure, i was going down, but the trail was so steep and rocky, i couldn't just run down at full throttle. i learned that rather quickly after a few slips and a couple of near falls.

at the mile 27 aid station i filled one of my bottles with 20 oz of red bull and the other with a strong mix of cytomax and water. i'd need some extra energy to face the brutal climb up holy jim trail. i was fully aware of the challenge that awaited: i had run up holy jim two weeks before. on fresh legs. i knew this would be much harder then, after 27 miles.

this was by far my slowest portion of the race. it was also the hardest. during this climb i experienced every possible emotion. my mind raced from the extreme poles of euphoria to the depths of despair. and everywhere in between. i sang. i talked to myself. i talked to my bottle of redbull. i tried laughter therapy. i repeated all sorts of mantras. i delivered voiceless cries into the void; they painted the rarity of utter agony, as beauty.

i was at 32 miles when i saw the top of the holy jim trail. back on main divide, i still had to climb 3 more miles to the top of santiago peak, before i could enjoy the last and "easiest" part of the race: 6 miles down main divide road followed by 9 miles down harding truck trail, back to where i had started in the morning.

my stop at the top of santiago was a quick one. they were shutting down the aid station and packing up to leave. i had both my bottles filled with orange sports drink, ate the best tangerine ever, and started my way down, after assuring my fellow oc trail runner skip that i was warm enough, had my headlamp, and was ready and willing to run the remaining 15 miles in the dark.

i shut the music off for night running. the sun was setting and it had the deepest, most incredible red color i had ever seen. i felt blessed for being at the highest point in orange county at that moment. i had the best seat in the house! oh, the hidden treasures of being a slow runner...

i was feeling really good. it got dark quickly once the sun had set, and i turned my headlamp on.
within minutes i began to feel afraid. the battle inside my head started. i feel good. it's pitch dark and you're on your own... it is a downhill run to the finish. it's night time, when mountain lions start to roam... i only have about 12 more miles to go. it's still gonna take you at least 2 hours... i've done 50 miles before, i can finish this. not if you get attacked by a mountain lion... that was it. forget about snakes and everything else. my biggest fear when running or hiking is that a mountain lion will jump at my neck. i was freaking out already. i felt like such a wimp. i've come this far, only to be defeated by fear?... i saw headlights coming my way. i secretly hoped it was skip's truck, so i could ride to the finish... and it was.

"...and that i take this obligation freely..."

2007-02-03T06:58:00.000-08:00

in june 2000 work brought me to this country. yesterday, after a long -- and expensive -- process, i took the oath of allegiance and became a us citizen.

i was only 16 years old when i decided not to move to the us with my family, but to stay in brazil instead. it was the start of my senior year in high school, and i wanted to graduate with my friends. 11 months later i landed in nyc, where i would live for the next year.

one year was all i was willing to wait in fulfilling my lifetime dream of getting a bachelor's degree in computer science from the federal university of minas gerais (ufmg), back in brazil. the next four years were hard, studying full-time and working part-time to pay for my living expenses. all federal universities in brazil are funded by the government, so tuition was not an issue.

during my last year at ufmg, i made the decision to pursue a master's degree in computer science, since i had gotten so involved in research. a week after graduation i moved to sao paulo, where i would spend the next two years working on research, implementation and defense of my thesis at the university of sao paulo in campinas (unicamp). this was an extraordinary time in my life. not only was i doing something i loved, i was also being paid by the university to do it.
i could dedicate 100% of my time to my project, and not have to worry about not being able to make ends meet.

just as i was finishing the implementation of my thesis (compiler optimization for simd processors, if you care to know), i had the chance to take part in conexant systems' summer internship program, and received an offer for full-time employment before traveling back to brazil to defend my thesis. 4 months later i was moving from sao paulo, brazil, to newport beach, california. this time with a hunch i was here to stay...

i am grateful for all the opportunities the us has presented me with over the past 6 years or so. today, i am proud to call this country my own.

time's a-tickin'

2007-01-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

i only have a few days and i have to make the decision: what will my march race be??? back in december i had already signed up for high desert, avalon, twin peaks and orange curtain... the orange curtain 100k is on february 17th, and after that i have nothing else planned. so i'm on the prowl for a march race, marathon or longer. with all the excitement of the past 6 weeks (my husband having open-heart surgery twice; first, a couple of days after high desert, and then a few days after avalon) running had been put on the back burner, and race planning was not high on the priority list, either. i'm thinking about the lake hodges 50k, but i'm not sure. whichever race i choose, i need to sign up before it is sold out! oh, and no flying, or driving more than 100 miles... what's a girl to do?

avalon 50: run with the buffalos

2007-01-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

unlike last year's experience (pole position), this time (with help from my garmin streetpilot) i managed to arrive at the port on time and catch the boat to catalina island, where the avalon benefit 50 mile run took place.

arriving on the island i realized how cold it was. i was already shivering on the boat, but this was freezing! in the evening we had the race briefing for an overview of the course and general questions. we also picked up our bibs and dropped our bags, to which we'd have access at miles 18 and 34. i found a group of early starters and arranged to meet in the morning and start together. these guys have been running the avalon 50 for over 20 years, definitely the right people to start with in the dark and on a course i didn't know.

we met at 2:50 (i only managed to have about 1 hour of sleep) for a freezing 3:00 start. the official start would be at 5:00, but with the 12-hour cutoff and this being my first 50 miler, i wanted to give myself the extra time and not have to worry about the cutoff. i stayed with them until it got light enough to see without our headlamps; they took off and tuong (we were staying at the same hotel) and i stuck together until the turn-around point at 26 miles. there was no way i would have gotten the course right in the dark. the first couple of miles included hopping over two fences and weaving through tall bushes. i was glad to have company!

my eating and drinking up to that point had been: hammer gel at mile 7.5; refill of cytomax, a cup of coke and a banana at the empire road aid station at mile 11.5; 3 slices of salted potatoes, 3 quarters of peanut butter and jelly, a cup of coke and refill of cytomax at little harbor, mile 18.6 (where i also got more cytomax from my drop bag and had my morning constitutional -- i know, too much information...); i was feeling really good up to little harbor, but started feeling crappy (maybe i ate too much?) from there on. we got to the turn-around at mile 26 6 hours into the race. tuong's plan was to run a faster 2nd half, so he took off from there, while i took my time at the isthmus aid station refilling my cytomax, drinking coke and eating more salted potatoes.

now alone, i cranked my ipod and started getting into the music and finding my focus again. i had an ok mile, then from 27 on i began to feel great! the music brought my energy back and i was singing, smiling and enjoying the stunning views of the ocean. i took a few pictures and just enjoyed being out there; life is good.

my run back to little harbor at mile 34 was nice and steady. the only thing making me feel uncomfortable was the fact that i was still wearing long pants. i should have changed into shorts on my first time around there at mile 18. didn't matter anymore, i was now there, i had my drop bag, and i put my shorts on. i sat down to take care of my feet -- surprise, no blisters! so i just put on fresh socks and fresh shoes. i had some pretzels and coke, refilled my bottle with just water this time and off i went. changing into shorts and putting on fresh socks and shoes was the best thing i did. i felt like i was just starting a 16-mile run, as opposed to running the last 16 miles of a 50-mile race.

it was a short run to eagle's nest at mile 38.8. they had buffalo burgers, beer and hard liquor, but i played it safe and stuck to coke and pretzels. i refilled with cytomax again, grabbed a can of redbull and took off. at around mile 40 i'm looking down working on my fanny pack, and when i look back up... a buffalo! about 12 feet away and coming (slowly) in my direction. i moved to my left and let it pass, while reaching for my camera, but by the time i was ready to take its picture it was already getting back into the wild. i managed to take a blurry picture (i was facing the sun) of its back while it walked away.

i had the redbull going, todd rundgren's i can't stop running started playing, i was riding a runner's high and feeling awesome!

"I can't stop running
I can't stop running
I have a vision of myself
breaking the finish line string
I still can hear it
This dream is calling
So I'll keep running"

i was beaming when I got to pumphouse hill at mile 44. i hadn't been drinking much for the past 5 miles so i didn't need to refill my bottle. i just drank some coke, grabbed a handful of pretzels and headed to the finish, only 6 miles away now!

by then i was so high on endorphins, pain was not an issue anymore so i just ran down to the finish. the last 3 miles were a bit hard on the legs -- all downhill on paved roads -- but at that point i didn't care, i just wanted to get to the finish line and receive my medal!

i finished in 12:32:02 official time, which was better than i expected. the splits attached only show running time, as my garmin was set to pause the timer when i stopped moving. it showed 11:59:08 at the finish, which tells me i spent way too much time at the aid stations: 33 minutes for only 6 of them. i have to learn to get in and out quicker and eat while walking away from the aid station.

arriving back at my hotel room, i took the nicest hot shower, lied down for an hour and met tuong to walk (ok, shuffle) to the cassino, where the banquet/awards ceremony would be held. (not without first falling off the last step getting out the hotel door onto the concrete sidewalk; i felt flat on my butt then on my back. my legs swung up in the air. luckily i didn't get hurt!) it was a hoot to see all of us walking up 5 ramps to the casino, and then back down 5 ramps after eating and drinking. we looked like a bunch of cripples holding on the the rails and doing that funny post-race walk. that ought to have been videotaped!

it was all a wonderful experience, and a memorable first 50-mile race.

avalon 50 preparation: an exercise on packing

2007-01-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

yesterday i packed for avalon. my "generic" race list is organized into six sub-lists: personal (travel items, such as wallet, paperwork, toiletries, clothes...), pre-race (stuff i need in the morning, before the race), race (all items that will be on me during the race; running gear), fanny-pack (all items that will be carried in my fanny-pack during the race), drop bag(s) (items to be used/replaced at selected aid-stations), and post-race (stuff i need after the race, mainly for races after which i'm not going back to the hotel, but rather hitting the road right away, so i can feel like a decent human-being after running X miles). i haven't run that many ultras, and this is my first 50, my first experience running trails in the dark, and my first experience using a drop bag. i forgot to include a flashlight (which i don't have), so i'll stop at rei on my way home this afternoon and get one.

product review: snot spot

2007-01-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

so this pamphlet for a quite unusual product was in my goodie bag last month at the high desert 50k. as i went through the contents of the bag in my hotel room, like a kid opening christmas presents, the yellow piece of paper gave me a good laugh. how do people come up with such ideas? anyway, at the end of the race the next day, they had small prizes for every runner. my prize was a bottle of succeed caps and a snot spot! it sat in my running box for almost a month, until i decided to give it a try yesterday on the octrailrunners 12-mile run through o'neill regional park.
as stated on the pamphlet, snot spot is a fleece nose wiper. well, i do suffer from "runner's nose", that annoying drip during runs, especially in colder temperatures. the fleece is really soft, so it doesn't irritate the skin as when using a wrist band or your shirt sleeve. and most importantly, it does work. i was able to keep the drip under control throughout the entire run, and when i got home i hand washed it in warm water and let it dry. ready for the next snotty run! the only complaint i have is that the one-size-fits-most is too large to fit women's hands and wrists, but that won't keep me from using it.

she's a maniac...

2006-11-23T23:08:00.001-08:00

of the running kind, that is. a few days ago i joined the marathon maniacs, a group of insane people that run an extraordinary number of marathons. the minimum requirement is to have completed 3 marathons (or ultras) in 90 days. i long qualified but didn't know about this group of fanatics. there are REAL maniacs there. impressive. membership starts at the bronze level with the 3 marathons or ultras in 90 days, and goes up to titanium level, for those insane souls that have done 52 marathons or more in one calendar year. there are other criteria such as number of marathons in different us states or canadian provinces or different countries... when you join you gain access to a member's only area that includes a bulletin board, and you can buy marathon maniacs apparel, too. of course you also gain bragging rights for being a maniac. check it out! maybe you qualify and don't even know!

thursday morning 3 piers run

2006-11-23T13:28:00.000-08:00

huntington...newport...
and balboa...
for 16.2 miles. beautiful day. great run. happy thanksgiving!

santa monica mountains 30k

2006-11-20T01:49:00.000-08:00

greg and jessica met me in irvine at 5:20. we were supposed to meet jon, michael, and pete at the snail's pace in fountain valley at 5:45, and kim at the start, but first we needed to get fuel. coffee and muffins, that is. there is a very strategically located starbucks just a couple of blocks from the snail's pace :-) and it opens at 5:30. perfect! then off to malibu we went.

after we got our bibs we found matt, another blogger. we all started on ray miller, a single-track trail. that means the start was chaotic. i had decided to take the back of the pack, but then i had to dodge people left and right to get through. at some point i come across this lady who wouldn't let me pass her: "this is not 'passable'", she said. (i had no problem stepping aside for people to pass me, but apparently this was a problem for her). anyway, i eventually managed to pass her.

t he course consisted of two connected loops, both run clockwise. it was very well marked. but a lot of people got confused and did one or both loops in the opposite direction. this is my oversimplified drawing.

from overlook fire road i turned left onto fireline trail. yes! downhill running... halfway through the first loop there was an out-and-back to sycamore canyon aid station. there i had some conquest and a clif shot. i should now stay left to finish the loop and then turn left at some point on overlook fire road to get out of it. i refilled my water bottle and off sycamore canyon fire road i went. since it had been downhill to the station, i at this point had to start going uphill again.

when i was out of the loop and back on ray miller trail my bladder felt like it would explode, and i couldn't care less if there were people around or not. (there weren't, anyway). i enjoyed the downhill run back to the start/finish aid station.

jessica had already finished the 9k, and was there to cheer me on. i had a can of coke and filled my bottle with conquest before taking off. i had aid at 5.5 miles and at 11.1 miles, but now i was in for a 7.5-mile stretch without aid... my plan was to drink very conservatively until around mile 15, to make sure i'd have enough fluids to get me to the finish.

off to la jolla canyon trail i went. another uphill battle. the climb was tough. i walked a lot from this point on, adding to my already pathetically slow time. la jolla canyon trail was steep and very rocky. i was tripping quite a lot i had to take a break. so i sat down and rested for about 1 minute.

further along i made the left onto la jolla valley loop trail. with the excuse that i had to look at the map, i sat down again for another minute. i then started on mugu peak trail, struggling a bit on this climb. but the views of the ocean were stunning! i stopped for some photos, and when i was done climbing i crossed paths with kim, who was doing the 50k.

i finally started the descent on chumash trail, a vast meadow with very tall grass. i passed this guy who asked if i was doing the 30k. "i thought i was last" he said. he later passed me. i guess even people who are used to being last don't expect to find someone as slow as me. :-) i then soon came to the end of la jolla valley loop trail, turning left onto la jolla canyon trail, to exit the looop and head back to the finish.

greg and jessica were waiting close to the finish line to take pictures. oh, when i finished i drank the best sprite ever! we stopped at tommy's on our drive back for fuel replenishment :-) and headed back to the snail's pace. i drove home riding a great runner's high! (gotta love it!)

race official numbers: 18.6 miles in 5:09. my garmin read 4:46, and this 23 minute difference is due to the fact that it was set to pause the timer whenever i stopped running. which were, approximately, 13 minutes before i could get on the trail at the start, 3 minutes at each aid station and 4 stops of about 1:00 each during the second loop.

it was a great day. a very well organized race. i had a blast! i'm sure everyone did. it was a hot day and a struggle at some points, but in the end all is forgotten and just the good impressions remain. i'm all pumped for the high desert 50k in two weeks!

getting ready for santa monica mountains...

2006-11-19T04:11:00.000-08:00

aunt and niece...

2006-11-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

24 years ago...
and
2 days ago...
when my older sister, who lives in brazil, sent me this picture of my niece samantha playing on the beach in rio de janeiro, it instantly reminded of an old picture of myself playing on the beach. a different beach. in a different state. but still in brazil. my picture was taken in marataizes, a small town where i spent 3 years of my childhood. sweet memories!

saturday morning at red rock canyon

2006-11-13T15:23:00.000-08:00

monday haiku

2006-11-13T07:42:00.000-08:00

crazy eyes to see
the darkness of my poor soul;
but sometimes it shines.

thought of the day: without science man is still man; without art man ceases to be.

toenail necklace

2006-11-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

(looks like i'm not the only one obsessed with toenails...) on january 12, 2006, i received the following emails from jan ryerse:

from: Jan Ryerse Thu, Jan 12, 2006 at 4:23 PM
to: fargasch at g-mail, without the dash, dot com
cc: ultra at listserv.dartmouth.edu
subject: toenail - to be or not to be

pull it off !!! - you don't want no toenail floating around inside your shoe during an ultra - and also you can mail it to me for inclusion in my toenail necklace that I'm workin on - I'll e-mail you off-list with my address - needle-nose pliers work really well at removing recalcitrant hanging toenails - go to http://www.stlouisultrarunnersgroup.net and click on photos - that ones being removed a month or so after Badwater 02 - Jan

from: Jan Ryerse Thu, Jan 12, 2006 at 4:26 PM
to: fargasch at g-mail, without the dash, dot com
subject: toenail

I'm quite serious - wrap in kleenex and mail to me - Jan Ryerse 823 Limoge Drive Manchester MO 63021 - I'll inscribe your name on it and include it in my toenail necklace - BTW - good luck in the 50 miler - I hear there are some incredible vistas up on the high trails on Catalina - Jan

i had a hard time believing he was serious, but a few minutes ago i was browsing the fixing your feet e-zine and came across this interesting series of articles... i somehow feel better now.

show me the money

2006-11-10T01:07:00.000-08:00

i have to think about this one myself... how much money (best estimate of average value) do you spend on running per year? races, traveling, equipment, supplements, apparel, gadgets, shoes, accessories, ...

how much $ do you spend on running / year?

previous polls:

what is your blister prevention method?

what is your opinion on twice-a-day runs?

how many miles do you put on your shoes before replacing them?

toenail technician

2006-11-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

today i seriously considered having all my toenails surgically removed. instead, i ordered a copy of john vonhof's "fixing your feet".

i wake up and notice that my left big toe is inflamed. (and painful). after studying it for a few minutes i realize that the lower right corner of the nail is loose, but still inside the flesh, and pierces it with every step. i try to loosen the left side up in order to pull the nail out completely, but it is still holding strong on that side. not knowing what to do, and not having much time to think about it -- gotta leave for work -- i decide to just wear flip-flops to at least spare myself the pain of crushing my "toesies" inside shoes.

as i'm driving back from work it hits me: "how will i be able to RUN?" i start working on the problem as soon as i get home. i got wildly creative, and came up with the following solution:

required materials:

scissors

gauze

tape

cotton

baby oil

hydrogen peroxide

iodine tincture

procedure:

wash foot in warm water

disinfect affected nail with hydrogen peroxide

using scissors, lift nail from bed and remove the loose side from the flesh (ouch!)

soak 1/2 of a cotton ball in baby oil and insert it under the nail, close enough to the loose corner, so that when pressed, the nail pierces the cotton, not the flesh

cover entire area with iodine tincture; it creates a nice visual effect

cut a strip of gauze, cover the toe with it and secure with tape

follow usual running preparation routine

i had a few things to do, (such as pack for the weekend, a few phone calls, and paperwork), so i could not go on a longer run, but i did go out for 6 miles on the bike path. amazingly, i ran without pain, and (very important), no additional damage was done to the nail. well, anything for a run. and this was an awesome one.

the oc register, april 4, 1998

2006-11-09T05:46:00.000-08:00

my husband was cleaning his closet and found this paper. one of his many rituals is to go to the beach, everyday, to watch the sunset, while playing an instrument. he is a jack of all trades master of none when it comes to playing, but still, i enjoy hearing him play. he plays (if i don't forget anything): acoustic guitar, electric guitar (at home, when there's no sunset), harmonica, ukalele, banjo, ukalin, auto harp, recorder, mandolin, keyboard (at home, when there's no sunset), violin, and trumpet. sometimes people find it interesting and want to take pictures, sometimes they stop to listen, and the funniest: he had a guy give him a dollar once! ha! he must have thought he was out there playing for tips, a common practice at the pier and wharf.

"SUNSET SERENADE: Glenn Norman of Newport Beach gives a violin concert during a recent sunset at the Newport Pier."

saturday morning at modjeska peak

2006-11-04T23:29:00.000-08:00

there were 7 of us, including bloggers jessica and jeff. after the logistics of dropping cars off at the finish point, driving to the start, and waiting for the other half of the group to show up, we were ready to go at around 7:15. it was a bit cold, but i was wearing coolmax pants and a coolmax long sleeve shirt, so i figured i'd be ok for both the cool weather and the warmer weather once we hit the sunny parts of the trail, and once it was late morning/early afternoon. i was fine. i just took my gloves off about halfway through the run, and was comfortable the whole time. i also took plenty of water with me, (90 oz), all of which i drank, so i'm glad it was enough. (i always have this "fear" i won't have enough water on these mountain runs). so it was perfect.

our planned route was to go up santiago trail and joplin trail to modjeska peak and then down main divide and harding. santiago trail was fine. even though we were going up, it wasn't grueling. we walked a lot, but we were expecting the first half of the run, the climbing part, to take longer and to be harder (obviously). man... when we hit joplin trail things started to get ugly. i began to question if this run had been a good idea at all, and question my running in jessica's masochistic race, the twin peaks ultra 50/50. i later found out joplin trail isn't part of the course, so it was all good. this was just jessica wanting to torture a bunch of unknowing victims, and i'll tell you, she did a good job. i remember at a certain point (on joplin) asking her "how do you come up with these crazy runs"? (i have no doubt that her race will soon grow to be known as the hardest race in southern califonia. so i'll be proud of having been part of the inaugural run). but oh, was this climb brutal! the trail was narrow, it often had a cliff on the right side, the surface was dusty and rocky, and therefore it had almost no grip. we kept slipping and sliding our way up. it seemed we would never reach the top! there was no running whatsoever on joplin, and even walking up, our pace was pretty pathetic. this trail is right up there with the last 3 miles of the san gabriel mountains 50k, as the hardest climbs ever.

once we reached the top, things changed (for the better). the faster folks were waiting for us, and we had a nice break for nutrition and hydration, properly stationary or even sitting down. that was also when we had the chance of hearing the funniest line of the day: "i'm like, at the top of a mountain so i'm going to be late". that was greg talking to his daughter. i'm sure she's still puzzled, even as i write this. we then started down the main divide road, a downhill dirt road. heaven! we all started feeling pretty good, and stayed together for a while, until the faster ones took off again, and jessica and i continued to exercise our back-of-the-pack pace. boy, were we feeling good. by then it was all forgotten (and forgiven, jessica) and we were left with just memories of joplin, and enjoyment of the second half of the run. (which took us only 2 hours, as opposed to 4 hours going up). the last downhill portion was going down harding, and that was great. the scenery was stunning, we seemed to be feeling better and better, and hey, we were getting closer to the finish, too. that counts for something. when we got to the end we found the faster folks having a mini tailgating party (sans beer). we socialized for a few more minutes and then got going. what a fun day!

when i got home i found a couple of bloody toenails, and a few others with blood blisters underneath. i had two that were falling, and now i have eight ready to go. only the pinkies' were spared. my left shoulder was a bit chafed from the camelbak, and i had a few bloody spots on my legs, from the plants that acted like needles and razors on our skin. but what an awesome run. the best of all running is always the great people you meet. priceless.

(jessica's account of this run can be found here).

back bay

2006-10-30T05:23:00.000-08:00

yesterday's afternoon at the back bay. beautiful day!

stop and smell the flowers

2006-10-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

life gets in the way. this was my run on thursday: a trip to the post office and back... i chose a different branch just for a change of pace. the one on balboa i go to too often. isn't it nice to look at the map and see all this blue? so even though i had a backpack full of books (on the way there), it was a very enjoyable run. it also included "ramp repeats" over pacific coast highway, so i got my "hill" training in. (yeah, right). quick stop at the atm on the way back and i was good to go. it was a short run, but all i could get in that day. on a couple of days this week (like tuesday and friday) i didn't run at all. and the running days were filled with short runs only. my mileage has been drastically reduced these past two weeks. am i injured? no. i'm back to work. it's a great thing, but my training has suffered.

after not working for two months it was just too easy to get used to having all that free time to run! and it's two jobs, so i really have to juggle time to get my runs in, especially with daylight saving time ending. time to dust off those headlamps and reflective vest and start running at dawn, i guess. (if i run at night it takes me hours to fall asleep). so, the jobs. one is easy and pretty much stress-free: substitute teaching for the santa ana unified school district. i hold a california math teaching credential, so i might as well use it while looking for work on my "real" field (computer science). the other is not so easy, and not so stress-free, although it's done from home: writing preparation material for the california high school exit exam for the orange county department of education. it is interesting and challenging, but the hours have been WAY more than i had planned. it is not rare to find me working at 3am. no, i don't stay up that late. this is when i'm already up for the day.

digressing a little bit. a few days ago i was sitting on my patio, looking at my husband's little "garden". he "rescues" plants. from the trash on sunday evenings, from the ground when they've been cut off and hurt, plants that friends and colleagues don't want anymore. we have a large amount of plants on our patio that would otherwise be dead. sometimes we get little surprises, or gifts, if you will. this picture shows what became of an ugly pot of weeds that my husband rescued from a dumpster. about a month of tlc and we had many (many) buds. a couple of weeks later... pretty white flowers all over! i need to do more of that. stop. and smell the flowers.

so, back to working, here are some resolutions. to work smarter, not harder. to get more sleep. to fall into a nice routine. possibly attend a time management workshop. to run early in the day before the "must do's" start to get in the way. i'm leaving between 6:30 and 7:00 for the subbing job, so i can sleep till 4:00 and run then. plus i know that once i fall in a groove, things will become easier. i like routine. work will soon become a routine, the consulting job for the department of education will soon be done, and i will soon have more time on my hands. sounds good to me!

wednesday poll on shoe mileage

2006-10-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

how many miles do you put on your shoes before replacing them?

previous polls:

what is your blister prevention method?

what is your opinion on twice-a-day runs?

the balboa fun zone

2006-10-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

it will no longer be my nephew's favorite place on the peninsula. it was bought in december 2005 for $14 million, by the newport harbor nautical museum. kids' favorites are the caroussel, which will be removed and relocated, and the ferris wheel, the only ride that will remain in the fun zone. but my nephew's favorite? he calls it "dinosaur punch" (aka "primal rage"). an extremely violent dinosaur fighting game... the lease on many of the shops are now expiring, so i'm guessing construction will be starting soon. it will cost another $6 million and take about 5 years. i usually run through it on my short runs, when i want to have a taste of both the ocean and the bay. i take the bay down to balboa, through the fun zone, and run back on the bike path, by the ocean. i can make this run anywhere from 3.6 to 5.3 miles. i can add another 1.5 if i choose to hit the other end of the path, too, along the ocean. lately i have been enjoying sunset runs, but i keep forgetting to take the camera with me. it is beautiful. as i turn around and start heading back, if i time it right, i can look through the pier to the horizon, where sky and water meet, and see the sun going down. the run back home is into the wind, and in the gorgeous afterglow.

weekend runs

2006-10-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday was 8.6 miles at el moro canyon with jessica. we met at 7:30 and started on time. another guy from the group (octrailrunners) also showed up. he's new to the group and we were glad to have him there. i don't know if we started too fast or what, or if i was just feeling crappy, but i was really struggling on the uphills. when we took this gorgeous single-track trail which was mostly downhill -- tada! -- i started to feel better. the downhill running was hard on my knees, though, as i could feel some soreness today. the good thing is that i continued to feel better even after we were done with the downhill portion.

it is great to run with jessica. besides being so very nice to talk to (when i'm not puking my lungs out on the hills), she is very knowledgeable about the oc trails, and i feel confident we won't get lost. as a bonus i get my trail fix and some hill training, which is much needed.

today was 18 miles on the newport-huntington bikepath. i went from the newport pier towards huntington until my garmin said 9 miles, then turned around. i felt tempted to go 2 more miles till the end of the bikepath on warner, and log a total of 22 miles, but decided to save that for next weekend. (my husband brought pizza home and i didn't wanna miss it!) talk about effortless run. i did it in 11:47 pace, which for me is great on a long run, including walk breaks for clif shot blocks and jelly beans. it was so enjoyable. i had no music (still waiting for that replacement ipod), so i decided to appreciate the small joys. smelling the salt, watching the dogs on the dog beach, feeling the wind, greeting other runners, and just enjoying my thoughts, watching them come and go, no worries, just peace. i am 100% recharged. it is hard to explain this to a non-runner; 'how can you run for 3 and 1/2 hours and feel recharged?', they may ask. but i know you understand. i'm riding a high right now, man.

friday twice-a-day runs poll

2006-10-13T04:56:00.000-07:00

here is one point of view on twice-a-day runs... http://www.pfitzinger.com/labreports/twoadays.shtml

sometimes i do doubles, usually with shorter distances, when i cannot wait for the next day to run again. you know, that feeling of "i gotta get out there and run!"...

what is your opinion on twice-a-day runs?

previous polls:

what is your blister prevention method?

orange curtain...

2006-10-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

i did it. i submitted my entry for the orange curtain 100k. after much debate i finally decided, what the heck. so it's a road race. so it's a 10k out and back repeated 10 times. so there will be bicyclists on the path and it'll be just like a training run. so... yeah, all of the above. but i want to go the distance. there aren't that many 100k's around where i live, and this one is at a perfect location. it also seems to be the easiest way to try the distance, being on roads and all (but 90% of the course has a dirt path by it). so my "dream" 100k is the hellgate, but being in virginia for that takes a lot more planning than driving to cerritos... now all i have to do is get out and train!

modern technology...

2006-10-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

while i wait for my replacement ipod... am sure glad i've kept all those cassettes! (and walkman)...

the first annual phedippidations world wide half-marathon

2006-10-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

i ran the first annual phedippidations world wide half-marathon on sunday. here is my finisher medal! ok, so this was a "virtual" race, but hey, who says i can't have a "real" medal? (if cardboard counts as real...)

i had the idea for the medal on my way home from the namiwalk on saturday. if i get a medal for finishing a 5k, i should get one for finishing a half-marathon. besides, i had never run a half-marathon before, so of course i had to have a medal...

it was a tough race, my legs being tired from the adventures the day before. (remember i was racing all out on the sand at times). i had to walk a lot, (hence the horrible time 2:29:08), but obviously DNF'ing a virtual race was not an option. i had plenty of time should i need it. it was morning, still. the really bad part was that my ipod crapped out on me right at the start, so i wasn't too happy about running 13.1 miles without music. but i've gone longer without it, too. (on a side note i returned it to the manufacturer today and should be getting a replacement pretty soon). all in all i had fun. it could have been just another 13-mile "training run", but it was a "virtual half-marathon" instead, and that sounds a heck of a lot better, doesn't it?

NAMIwalks for the mind of america

2006-10-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

last time i checked, nami orange county had raised $95,286.00! thanks to everyone who donated. more than 60 communities across the nation held namiwalks; i'm trying to find out the total in donations.

i had a blast! the walk started at 9am, and we needed to check in at 8am; so i left home at 7am, since i was running to the start, 5.75 miles away. the run there was awesome! one of those "zone" runs i love so much.

my friends and i stuck together throughout the whole thing. we ran/walked it and had a blast! our fun included getting off-course and on the beach, racing on the sand at all out speed until we dropped dead, and scouting free sambazon acai smoothies from the surf contest tent.

we walked around huntington beach afterwards, enjoying the sun, people watching, and making plans for future adventures. my run back wasn't a "zone" run, though. i had the messenger bag we got at the finish line, and running with that bouncy thing definitely wasn't an easy task. moreover, i had forgotten my water and sunglasses at home, which didn't quite matter at 7 in the morning, but were sure missed at almost noon. i had to walk for a few minutes every now and then, as i tried in vain to tie the bag to my waist, but the strap was just too long. i finally decided to just suck it up and keep going, as it wasn't going to get any better, and any attempt at it would probably just add to the time between then and my shower. my garmin showed 11.5 and 2:00:35 when i got home. (i had it off during the 5k). not too bad considering i did some walking. now i just had to rest and tackle the next day's half-marathon.

roger waters at hollywood bowl review

2006-10-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

powerful. stirring. with detailed staging designed by the same architect from pink floyd's the wall tour, pyrotechnics, large-scale video projections, theatrical staging. a full moon (courtesy of mother nature) adds to the experience, while a 360° quadraphonic sound system delivers the power and density of waters' music to a thirsty audience.

the production consisted of two sets: the first a collection of pink floyd material, and songs from roger's solo career. a wide variety of waters' music, including several classic compositions from the the wall, pieces from animals, (with a giant flying puppet pig with the phrase "impeach bush" inscribed on its "gluteus maximus"), wish you were here, and the final cut.

it also included a new(ish) song. "leaving beirut", an instrumental backdrop for a short story/graphic novel about waters' experience hitch-hiking in lebanon, interspersed with lyrics about the us and uk involvement in the iraq war. a line caught my attention in this song: "don't let the might of the christian right fuck it up for you and the rest of the world". good stuff. it invoked a mixed reaction from the crowd, with many rising to their feet and cheering.

the second set featured roger waters and his full band performing the dark side of the moon album in its entirety, plus encores.

a definite must; not to be missed by any floyd and waters' fan.

2006-10-05T04:33:00.000-07:00

tuesday's urban challenge

2006-10-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

i needed to run some errands this afternoon. so i decided to... RUN some errands! i had four stops to make: library, post office, atm, and grocery store. about 5 miles to cover. the challenge: get everything done in less than 75 minutes. i figured roughly 50 minutes of running and a maximum of 25 minutes waiting in line, etc...

i left home at 3:03. ran to the library, checked out a book, ran to the post office, mailed a package, did my longest leg to the atm, deposited a check, and finally went shopping for orange sherbet. (very necessary). the gods of waiting in line rained fortune on my world, because it was exactly 4:18 when i stepped inside the apartment. that was a sweet way to get things done. thank god for backpacks and orange sherbet!

mental illness awareness week

2006-09-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

did you know that an estimated 25 percent of adult americans suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder? did you know that mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the us and canada for ages 15-44? did you know that depression is a leading cause of teen suicide? did you know that suicide is the main cause of death among people with a mental illness?

"the most shocking thing about mental illness is how much it is misunderstood".

the first week of october is "mental illness awareness week" (miaw), as established by congress in 1990. i urge you to take the time this week to learn a little about these elusive illnesses that touch the lives of so many, is understood by so few, and that help make this world a more colorful place.

the national alliance for the mentally ill (nami) is putting on "namiwalks" in various communities across the nation to raise money and awareness about our country's need for a world-class treatment and recovery system for people with mental illness.

the simplest thing you can do to help is to visit nami's website and learn something about mental illness today. if you feel more daring, you can wear a silver ribbon and help fight stigma.

runner's haiku

2006-09-28T23:58:00.000-07:00

the toes are swollen.
missed my scheduled run today.
painful black toenails.

quickie...

2006-09-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

just want to get that picture off the top of the page...

so, today marks a year since i took my car in for a recall. why do i remember that? because today also marks two years since i received the recall notice in the mail. that's how bad a procrastinator i am.

on a similar note: i'm not usually late, but a few months ago arrived at my psychiatrist's office ten minutes past my appointment time. the door was locked and the lights were off. i called him, left a message and went home. the next day he calls and says i was late by "only" one month. he says i must be doing really well, if i actually forgot about my appointment for that long.

my husband playing with his camera...

2006-09-26T04:50:00.000-07:00

ultras: more bang for your buck

2006-09-24T02:58:00.000-07:00

here are the races on my near future schedule, their distance, and the entry fee:

high desert 50k, dec. 3
50k - $50.00 --> registered!

avalon benefit 50, jan. 13
50m - $80.00 --> registered!

twin peaks ultra 50/50, feb. 4
50m - $55.00 --> registered!

long beach marathon, oct. 15
26.2m - $95.00 --> i don't think so...

i removed the long beach marathon from my schedule. 95 bucks to run 26 miles? on roads? i don't think so. i think my days of running marathons are over (not that i've run that many, anyway). i just can't seem to rationalize paying almost $100 to run a marathon. actually, my two favorite marathons, palos verdes and mystic places, were the cheapest i've ever run, at $40 and $50, respectively.

i understand there are expensive ultras, too. especially if you're into multiday events abroad... but your ordinary ultra is usually pretty affordable, and well worth the price. (plus, how else do you get to binge while you run?). race directors of ultras do not usually put on races looking to make a profit. (at least most of them don't). it is not rare for race directors to end up having to cover some of the race expenses out of their own pockets, either. it's all about giving back to a sport they love. so i went out in the cyberworld and did some research on prices of 100 milers. (they're in my future, anyway). i found that they range from $100 to $250 (here in the usa), but i only researched the "most famous" ones, and the skewed criteria for that was whether i had ever heard about them or not... :-) those were the two extremes:

rocky raccoon
100m - $100.00

western states
100m - $250.00

the rocky raccoon is held in february, in huntsville, texas. it is rated "1.0" in difficulty by a step beyond: a definitive guide to ultrarunning, the ultrarunning "bible" published by the ultrarunning "authority" ultrarunning.com. no wonder it is a very common choice for a first 100 miler. the course consists of five 20.2-mile loops with four aid stations.

the western states -- or "the boston of ultrarunning", as some call it -- is rated a "7.0" in difficulty by the same book. it is held in june, in squaw valley, california. the course is a downhill point-to-point from squaw valley to auburn, through one of the most beautiful terrain in northern california. there are several steep climbs and descents, and extreme temperature differences. i know of two great movies with footage from this race: a race for the soul, filmed in 2001, and running madness, filmed in 2002. they are very inspirational and will have you out the door running before the end. be sure to come back, shower, and watch the rest.

sport beans

2006-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

i tried them on my run this afternoon. i had one packet of lemon-lime flavor at around mile 7 of the 14.2-mile run. i was surprised! they taste really good, much better than any of my favorite gels. ok, so they're not as easy to eat as gels are, but the taste made them worth it for me. they were just as easy to carry, though. it must have taken me about 10 minutes to finish the little 100-calorie packet, during which i walked, as i didn't want to spill the contents of the packet... i'm not complaining. it was a much needed walk break, and the only one i took. but if you're not into taking walk breaks, this may be an awkward product for you. being the spaz that i am, i wouldn't have been able to eat them beans without walking. :-) i drank lots of water with them, as i do with gels, too. i didn't slow down on the second half of the run, and i finished with even splits. here are the nutrition facts for one packet, compared to other commonly used products:overall, i give them a 9 out of 10, due to the difficulty of eating them while running. when you tear the bag open and dig in for the beans, the bag continues to get torn, making it harder to keep the beans from falling out. i managed not to drop any, but then again, i walked. i got them at the top100supplements ebay store.

saturday morning at aliso/wood canyon

2006-09-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

i finally got to meet jessica! we had been emailing back and forth talking about running together and we finally did so yesterday. she wrote a report on our 11.5'ish run, which you can read here. (do i need to say i'm too lazy to write my own?)

i definitely need to do a greater percentage of my training on trails. and hills. at higher altitude. i shall face my fear of getting lost when driving to places i've never been to and join her more often. plus, if i do that, these places will become familiar to me, and the jitters will soon be gone. ha!

46 years ago this day...

2006-09-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

... two very special people got married...

happy anniversary, mom and dad

an exercise on mindfullness... part ii

2006-09-12T07:33:00.001-07:00

so, continuing with my mindfullness frenzy, i decided to try out a yoga video i bought a couple years ago and never used. this is a very good workout! i was skeptical of this being just sitting and breathing, and it turned out it had me sweating, my legs wobbling, my heart rate up, and the great feeling that comes after exercising. but... i'm an agitated kind of person, always on the go, always doing, doing, doing, do this fast, gotta maximize my time, do 6 things at the same time for optimal usage of my time, sleep is superfluous... you get the picture. so holding each pose for almost one minute was kind of hard for me. it got better as the workout progressed, though. in the beginning i was thinking "shut up, lady, just move on with this!", but in the second half i was actually enjoying holding each pose. plus that where the challenge was coming from, as getting to the pose isn't a big deal, but staying there... well, did i mention wobbly legs? that's when i could feel it was working. the whole workout is 45 minutes, including warm-up and cool-down. it ends with the corpse pose, that i must have held for 15 minutes or so... it is a basic workout, ideal for those new to yoga. if you're a seasoned yogi you may find this too easy.

an exercise on mindfullness...

2006-09-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

i ran exactly the amount my body told me to this weekend: zero. with the extra time on my hands i went to barnes & noble and found a neat book, which i bought: the wellness book. i love both the content and the format. it teaches you the concept of behavioral medicine, or mind/body connection, through simple explanations enriched with guided activities and personal stories. the workbook format provides structure, a way to keep track of your progress, enhanced ability to focus, and a sense of closure at the end of each chapter. so i decided to try a few exercises from the book, and chose to elicit the relaxation response during my run. i left the ipod at home. i wore my most comfortable running gear. while running i kept my focus on my breathing pattern, which is naturally three in/three out. i tried to maintain this focus throughout the whole run, while at the same time being strongly aware of my surroundings, the smells, sights, sounds, and simple things i don't usually pay attention to while running. i kept myself in the present, bringing my mind back to the moment when it started to drift into the past or the future. i felt very relaxed and energetic after the run. it won't be an everyday thing, as it takes a considerable effort to keep my mind from wandering. but i enjoyed the experience. next time i do it i'll leave the watch home as well.

first run after 3 days

2006-09-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

life got in the way this week. i did a short run on monday while still in long island, then came packing, traveling all day, unpacking, opening a full box of mail, making phone calls, catching up... where did all the time go? i haven't gotten much sleep, either. to make things more fun i was laid off from my job and my husband's leaky valve and irregular heartbeat are taking their toll on his body. he may need corrective surgery in the future. so... i didn't run on tuesday, wednesday and thursday. went on another short run yesterday, but felt as graceful as a duck. at least i wasn't quacking... so, needless to say, my mileage this week has been downright pathetic. i'll head out after breakfast (been awake since 2am, by the way) and run whatever distance my body tells me to. i'm looking forward to a nice weekend.

monday haiku

2006-09-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

all my simple dreams
are a manifestation
of my subconscious

sunday haiku

2006-09-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

quero desligar
o liquidificador
acabou a luz

--

i want to turn off
this blender, oh, it's insane
and the lights are off

a rainy afternoon of non-running fun

2006-09-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

i'm having a blast in new york even though the running has been minimal. i'll ramp back up when i am back in california. right now i'm focusing on having a good time with my family.

on books and reading: i've been tagged

2006-09-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

alice in wonderbread tagged me; here are my short and lazy (for more information on the books and authors click on the names...) answers to this meme, along with the next “victim”... (see #10).

ONE BOOK THAT CHANGED MY LIFE: touched with fire: manic-depressive illness and the artistic temperament by kay redfield jamison

ONE BOOK THAT I HAVE READ MORE THAN ONCE: the unbearable lightness of being by milan kundera

ONE BOOK I WOULD WANT ON A DESERTED ISLAND: godel, escher, bach: an eternal golden braid by douglas hofstatder

ONE BOOK THAT MADE ME LAUGH: when will jesus bring the pork chops by george carlin

ONE BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY: flicts by ziraldo

ONE BOOK THAT I WISH I HAD WRITTEN: the prophet by kahlil gibran

ONE BOOK I WISH HAD NEVER BEEN WRITTEN: haven’t had that bad luck. i apparently like everything i read, or quickly forget what i don’t like.

ONE BOOK I AM CURRENTLY READING: an unquiet mind: a memoir of moods and madness kay redfield jamison

ONE BOOK I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO READ: life, the universe, and everything by douglas adams

WHO'S NEXT? jess

thursday haiku

2006-08-31T15:03:00.000-07:00

feet above the ground;
what a wonderful feeling!
stepping on dry leaves.

like aunt like nephew

2006-08-31T14:44:00.000-07:00

we spent part of the afternoon at eisenhower park, and i (of course) used the opportunity to go running. it was a short run, but the park was very pleasant. on my last lap ryan followed me on his bicycle, as we were on a quest for (yet another) ice cream truck. when i was finishing my run my sister took a few pictures and he started running, too. we got a few very cute pictures of him running. he even has both his feet above the ground! the little one is flying! it is so exciting when he can join me on my runs, either on his stroller, on his bicycle, or running along. maybe i'll be able to instill in him the same
love i have for this sport...

family jewels

2006-08-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

jess posted about her discovery of "the rock". i liked her idea and decided to publish my favorite "jewels":

miracle of aloe's miracle foot repair - this is the most precious product and comes first on my list. from walking barefoot to running barefoot, walking on the beach, concrete, asphalt. changes in temperature. cracked heels. dry soles. rough, rough skin. this so appropriately called "miracle" lotion repairs the damage caused by the wonderful feeling of walking barefoot. it doesn't restore "baby feet" but that's good, since you want to keep somewhat thick skin (in all senses, actually) to reduce the occurrence of blisters. (see the poll below for interesting data on blister care).

my garmin forerunner - i love keeping track of my pace and having the beeps tell me to speed up, slow down, i've completed another mile, the virtual running partner comes in handy to try to maintain a certain pace on tempo runs, (hey, it helps beat loneliness! wish it could talk, too). i still haven't read the manual to learn about all its features, and i haven't plugged it to my laptop, either. i must be missing out on some interesting possibilities with this cool gadget.

breakingthetape.com - thanks jeff!. there are no words to describe how much i LOVE this tool. go. check it out. NOW. check out how cool it is to have scripts to display training information on your blog. did i say 'breakingthetape.com - thanks jeff!'?

the hacker's diet - the best book ever! the royal canadian air force exercises on chapter 1.2.5 changed my body, my fitness level and my morning routine. i highly recommend checking it out. never could i imagine i'd be doing 12 military push-ups, and i'm still making progress, building my way up to 40. the program starts ridiculously easy, but since you climb up the ladder at your own pace, soon you'll start to be challenged if the first rungs are too easy. i've been doing these since may 27th.

corporate kindergarten

2006-08-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

my nephew looks really important watching "the emperor's new groove" on his laptop. i gave him my headphones and he was in awe of the fact no one could hear the movie but him. he also found it weird that he suddenly could not hear us anymore, and kept removing the right ear piece and saying "what?" to our amusement. by the way we got him to bicycle 2.2 miles the other day. now i just need to start him on a running regimen. what a cutie!

bear with me...

2006-08-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

as some sidebar content will be unavailable while i try to figure out what blogger beta did to my template. :-\

thursday blister poll

2006-08-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

what is your blister prevention method

let's say thanks - in support of our troops

2006-08-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

although i do not agree with any war initiative, i have a deep appreciation of the selflessness of the young soldiers serving overseas. at letssaythanks.com, a national program created by xerox corporation, anyone can pick a thank you card and it will be printed by xerox, then bundled and sent along with care packages from give2thetroops to the men and women currently stationed overseas. you can't choose, or even know, who will get it, but it will go to some brave member of the armed services. over 12,000 cards have been sent so far, but there are still thousands more serving who would be touched to hear that you appreciate their service and want them back home safely.

beta-blogger woes

2006-08-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

joy. i did the IRREVERSIBLE update to beta-blogger and now my feed is screwed up. it won't show on the ultrablogs meta-blog, for instance, and generates other errors on feedburner and so on.

[] Error reading source feed

Error reading source feed http://ultrachick.blogspot.com/atom.xml: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.

FeedJumbler, 8/23/2006

ultrarunning wiki

2006-08-23T14:06:00.001-07:00

i've created the 'ultrawiki'. there is NOTHING there yet, but since it is a space for collaboration by multiple people (perfect for our little running blogging community), i'm sure someone will start coming up with ideas and adding content. i'll do so myself once i have a little time tonight.

perfectionism: the paralyzing weakness

2006-08-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

i have a confession to make: i'm a chronic perfectionist. i also suffer from the worst case of all-or-nothing personality.

these two character defects combined make for an extremely paralyzing combination: i won't start a task when i know i don't have time to finish it in one go. i also won't start a task if i don't think i can do it perfectly (as if there even were such thing, in the first place). if i've planned a 20-mile run, life gets in the way and don't have the 4+ hours available for it anymore, but could still squeeze in 10 miles, i will do nothing instead.

why can't i realize 10 miles is better than nothing? why can't i realize making 3 or 4 of the 12 phone calls on my todo list is better than nothing? why can't i realize that doing laundry and saving the folding for the next day is better than not doing it at all? why can't i realize clipping my nails doesn't have to entail clipping my few remaining toenails on the same day as well? and why then am i left sitting, staring at the blank wall, paralized and overwhelmed, uncapable of doing anything? honestly: perfectionism, all-or-nothing, OCD and procrastination SUCK. pardon my french, but they suck the big moose c*ck.

barefoot race for the ice cream truck

2006-08-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

second day in long island. never a dull moment...

ice cream truck drives by my sister's house.

excited nephew ryan runs outside at full blast!

disappointed nephew ryan stares as the truck drives away...

auntie nattie to the rescue!

i take off -- barefoot, prescription glasses, cotton shorts and t-shirt -- on a quest to bring back the truck. 'follow the white truck!', i think, (and the music), while being cheered on by drivers: 'you're almost there!', 'go for the ice cream!'... the soles of my feet are burning, but all i can think of is ryan's cheery face, so i keep going. i run around the neighborhood until the driver sees me. he has to go the opposite direction and make a u-turn before he can stop where i am. i tell him 'there's a kid on salem and winding sitting on the steps waiting for you'. he asks for directions and heads there. i run back, arriving almost at the same time as the truck, and in time to see ryan's happy face!

my feet after the adventure: